Today is Friday April 29th, 2011, well I guess you can tell that by whatever dating this system has, but I’m typing simply for it’s confirmation, that it is today when I have started this Journal about my life.
At the current moment, I’m 2 quarters from graduating, due to mistakenly taking Virology and the wrong course of Microbiology, so I won’t be participating in the graduating ceremony lest I would do it next year… I think my father’s a little disappointed, like most traditional parents, he’d like to stand there dressed up and watch his son in a cap and gown. I owe him that much. But that’s just my digression.
Today. Today is the day I come home from a 3-day stay at my school, I must admit, I simply can not wait! To sit on the couch with my brothers, Norm and Greggy, John’ll probably be on Facebook for the whole day. and my Mother will be estatic to see me, because I’m one of a RARE few who will listen, actually listen and not just hear, her. So for now, I am at the security office from a day of school, today I had my Developmental Biology Quiz, in which I didn’t have much opportunity to study for, as well as my Human Gross Anatomy class, where I heard Dr. Joseph lecture about blood circulation of the Heart.
Ahhh, the Heart. A modified blood vessel that is composed of its own muscle tissue and has its modified electrodes and is the center for MANY things, philosophical, spiritual, obviously physical, and even metaphorical! I don’t know why I’m so fascinated by it, but I simply know I HAVE to be a Cardiologist. I just have to. Heh, I guess I have no choice, since Isa wants to be a doctor as well. I thought to myself, “Damn…” when I heard that, “Now I have no choice, because she’s going to be looking up to me, thinking that I’ll be the example. I’ll show her the way.” But in all honesty, I don’t know what I’m going to do, or whether or not I’ll make it. Everyone seems so certain that I will be a doctor, but in terms of the application process, I’m further behind than I’m willing to admit. I feel the need to shadow some doctors, I obviously need Volunteering hours, and who knows what else to make my application look good on paper, but I do know that I need to re-take some of my classes because I didn’t care enough to get a high enough grade… Wow, did I just really say that? Geez… How can I say this? Who am I to say this?! Freakin’ A, man! I thought that I was better than this! *Sigh* To think that I had not thought myself higher than what I really am… I’ve apparently forgotten that this life is not my own, that God saved my life, and that I owe my LORD everything! So why did I think that I can be selfish like this?!… Ok, let’s just focus. Just think about what we’re doing right now. Right now, I’m on the right track, I have to do better in HGA, because it is ridiculously difficult, and I have to study harder for D. Bio. because I can tell I’ve been slacking in it, And I have to make sure that I stay on top of all of my other assignments, like that paper for Tools and Methods III, which is due in 2 weeks, and the Project for D. Bio Lab. which shouldn’t be too difficult, I just have to take charge of my team and make sure everyone does their part. I know I really can do a lot when I try, but every now and then, my legs are cut off from me, or I lose motivation, for what seems like no reason at all… *Sigh* I’m ranting… *Inhale* Ok, I’m more calmed down…
Ok, so for now, I have to try to fix my ’94 Ford Thunderbird, while thinking about how I’m planning on buying a new car, using loan money, that way I won’t have to worry about car problems, because I have the delusional idea that I’ll be a good boy and do what I’m supposed to do with a car, routine check ups and whatnot, but I don’t think I will, in all honesty… Wow, there’s the arrogance again… Heh, I’m finding more reasons to hate myself right now…
Heh, I just realized that this first entry it taking me forever to finish… Ok so I’ll end it with this.
As time passes, I can feel the winds of change blowing again, whether for good or bad, you cannot forget that God has granted you this opportunity to feel these experiences, whether it be a new love, or a new definition of Hell. God has blessed you with this, because you were deemed worthy enough to handle it. Do not forget this, because everyone is counting on you.