On Sept 18th, 2011, Josue visited unexpectedly, simply sat down and made demands as to how his food should be, and just complained and insulted me and then the girls. Fortunately the girls did not catch on that they were being insulted, so when I responded in kind, Sirena got mad at me, my only response was shock and anger. Shocked that should they know what Josue thought about them, they would cease all contact of them. Anger because I knew this as well as Josue and she still defended him.
Then during the Rosary, my mind was rampant with thoughts of beating him to a Pulp in many different fashions, and once again my body tensed up and I was trying to fight them off. Then finally a thought came to me, it didn’t provide me with the upmost sense of comfort, but it calmed me a bit:
Matthew 23:11-12 “But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant; And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased, and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.”
Then it got me to thinking, ‘Why do they act like this?’ I’m now including John and Norm, reflecting on those moments where they act like children, and of course the children themselves ‘Surely they know what they’re doing…’ and then it hits me, ‘No, they don’t.‘ I hear. ‘So they do not know better?’ Then I think about all of the evidence that supports the answer to that question. ‘No, they don’t understand! They are not aware of what they’re doing, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”! That’s a phrase I always pray! Of course, how could I have forgotten!?’
As soon as I had finished this thought, my anger was suppressed, yet my body was still tense from the violent thoughts. It took several breaths to calm myself down. But the rest of the night was special. Isa seemed rather affectionate and kept hugging me, as if she was sorry for some wrong that she had done, so while we played outside, we ended up watching the stars and we saw several things, from shooting stars (Isa claimed to have seen the ending of several) to what I think are UFO’s (but Sirena says aliens do not exist, heh heh) In either case, I loved it, being able to stand there with the girls, and do nothing but stargaze. I can tell that this is one of those moments that will stick with me.
Now I’m chatting with Diana, and we’re going to send each other gifts, we’re deciding between an expansion of something we like about each other, or something we both can share. The debate continues.