“What did you do today?”

I find myself asking this question to my reflection, and he’s yet to provide me with an answer.

Heh, I guess this signifies that I’m a bit lost right now in life. I’m confused because with this move that we’re planning, I feel like I cannot make any solid commitments towards furthering my plans.

I was asked today, can I be the bigger person and set aside my hatred, that I now realize I was purposefully harboring for him. Well it’s sort of subconsciously purposefully, I didn’t think that I was willingly doing so, but when Steph, asked me to try and talk with him, patching things up, and what not, I realize that I was feeling that I was getting cheated out of my anger and vengeance… Well perhaps not vengeance, but I’m at the point that I can care less of what happens to the man.

Sigh… But that’s the right thing to do.  I’ve now come to realize that my question isn’t “What did I do today” but “Which of the 2 Wolves am I feeding” I’m referring to the Cherokee story of the 2 wolves that represent the bad and good qualities in all individuals. Suffice to say, I’ve been feeding the Bad Wolf, which I have rather envisioned as a pitch-black wolf with red eyes and always in a crouched position with teeth bared. With this, I’ve imagined the Good wolf to be a White wolf obviously, with Black eyes, stands erect and stares you down, without any movement nor hesitation.

But this is internal, and I must deal with this before I become consumed by the Black Wolf. On another note, my little sister wrote me a letter, which was why she was asking for my address, which relieved me of my fears that I was going to get a wedding invitation or a pregnancy test in the mail. Heh, but all joking aside, I enjoyed it, I’m glad that she has decided to write me something, I’ve always wanted a pen pal. It provides a rather familiarity with the writing that emails simply cannot  provide.

It’s getting late however, or early, and I need to sleep for Thanksgiving’s preparations. See you around.

This entry was posted in Journal.

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