Where it all ends… Maybe.

As a Proud biology nerd, I find myself fascinated with various things, some real, like photos of bacteria, or the irony in naming a Cancerous gene, “Sonic the Hedgehog”; some fictional, like Fantasy, Dragons, The Dichotomy of good and evil being played on a macro scale via Gotham City or even Earth.

And there are things that make the transition from Fiction into Fact…

The Undead! Reanimated Corpses! Rotting Flesh-eating People! The Living Impaired! No, not Vampires, I’m referring to those lovable Zombies! They’ve recently acquired popularity with Shows, Products and even city-wide events. Don’t believe me? Look it up! Run for your Lives 5K, Humans VS Zombies, etc. The list is expanding exponentially!

This has come to mind very recently that there’s astrong possibility that Zombies have already came, with various things, but starting with this article that occurred in Miami, Florida: http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/crime/miami-police-shoot-kill-naked-man-who-was-2377343.html

Doesn’t help that this article came out as well: http://miami.cbslocal.com/2012/05/28/causeway-cannibal-identified-fears-grow-over-drug-possibly-involved/

Imgur has more evidence that ties the Miami incident to Zombies roaming the Earth: http://i.imgur.com/GlmhV.png

But this isn’t enough to incite mass panic, but that doesn’t stop people from being prepared, like this article from a Canadian company: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10806275

The USA’s very own CDC has posted an article pertaining to the Brain-seeking horde that might kick us off the top of the Food chain: http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies.htm

Now, personally, I’ve been preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse ever since I’ve read a book, I got from Lily, a dear friend, as a Birthday present.

Happy Birthday, indeed…

I’ll admit that I didn’t read it right away, thinking about the strangeness of her gift. But once I did read it, I couldn’t put it down, and then, my mind started planning and thinking about the possibilities of said Apocalypse. I started asking survival scenarios of my brothers and eventually got them involved in planning to survive World War Z. AMC’s The Walking Dead was our favorite show as during the commercials, we’d discuss how we would respond when placed in the same situations as the characters on the show. In my mind, I’m not fully prepared, as my weaponry is limited to pry bars and make-shift tools, however, I know exactly how to get prepared, thanks to a local Big 5 that’s down the road, but I digress…

No one really knows whether or not the Zombie Apocalypse, some can argue strongly that it won’t happen due to various factors that can shut down Zombies before they even go anywhere. It’s all in this article from Cracked.com, which explains thoroughly, although humorously (profanity warning): http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

Then again, they have another article explaining how it can actually happen: http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html?wa_user1=3&wa_user2=Tech&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended

…. And another explain why you want it to happen: http://www.cracked.com/article/136_5-reasons-you-secretly-want-zombie-apocalypse/?wa_user1=4&wa_user2=Weird+World&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended

… Although that last one is more towards young men, and doesn’t really target everyone (it’s funny though)…

So now where does this post end?… Heh, not quite sure about that myself. I can assure you though, that if being prepared for this makes me a Nerd, then I’ll smile at you, for you’ve seen a part of me that is full of passion. But if I’ve made you start to think about, maybe preparing for this, then I will smile greater, because now we share a common interest. So if we do meet up in person, you can feel free to ask me, “What would you do if the Zombie Apocalypse happened right now?” And I’ll smile as I give you my response.

So until then… Heh heh, See you around…


Making the most of it

Saturday, Greggy had a Karate Tournament in UC San Diego, and I offered to give him a ride and watch his tournament, I was also talking to my Hermanita, and she wanted to meet up with me there, so that we can hang out.

So we got there at 9AM, and right around 12PM, there was a blackout, the entire campus had lost power, when I met up with Hermanita, we were sitting down and watching some of the other matches, joking around and catching up, heh, we even made our own dialogues between some of the fighters, pretending that it was a climatic battle to the death…. only with 10 year olds and head gear.

So after a while, the Fire Marshall came in and informed the judges that we had to leave in 5 mins, due to the black out, it was disappointing because Greggy still hadn’t gone to do his Kata, which to my understanding is the demonstration of a students abilities and proof of what he has learned. Alas, as we were leaving the building, we decided to go out to eat, in celebration of coming here, and for meeting up with my Hermanita. After a few failed attempts and missed turns, we came across the local mall area and walked into a Mexican restaurant called “Cozy Mel’s”. We sat and I introduced Greggy to my Hermanita, so we were all getting acquainted, and I joked that the Waiter was looking at my Hermanita, that he thinks she’s cute and whatnot. Greggy was telling her about our family, and I realized that I hadn’t told her much about the family… at least not the parts that Greggy was telling her.

Greggy, Hermanita and Myself

Good food, Good times

So, there we were, the three of us enjoying a good meal, and each other. Despite the fact that we came for literally nothing, we’ve decided to make the most of these unexpected situations and over all had a good time.

In truth, it made me wished that I can hang out with my Hermanita more often, as her presence is always welcoming. Greggy?….. Meh, I see Greggy everyday, ha ha ha.

But now that this weekend is over, I must get back into the fray, so to speak. More MCAT studying, and back into my exercise routine, which I have neglected this whole weekend, and completing the 6-Week Challenge, that I’m participating in. Oh well!

But the Poor shall forever remain among you

A couple of days ago, I was out getting some pizza, and as I was leaving, there was a girl in worn-out sweatpants and a hoodie I hesitate for a moment and gave her what little money I had in my wallet: $3. It was all I had, and she barely acknowledged me as I handed it to her, then her family came by and they were asking her questions, I didn’t pay attention to their conversation, however I did notice that the girl was kinda… cute.

As I was walking to the car, another individual came up to me. He told me that he was a retired Vet, and asked if I had any spare change, to my regret, I apologetically told him that I had given my last bit of change to the girl and her family. He gestured that she’d probably use said money for drugs, to which I responded, “It’s better for me to be tricked being a Good guy, than not do anything.” and then he left. 2 homeless people in 5 mins, and they were from different backgrounds, and although a part of me agreed with the Vet, that the cute girl would probably fall into drugs using the money I gave her, I have no regrets giving her what little money I had, but I always feel that I could do more.

On the ride back, I started thinking, remembering actually, how my friend Maricris would always say that she feels bad for the poor and homeless whenever we pass them by on the road. She’d always finish with a desire to help them one day, because no one deserves to live as anything less than human. She always treated people with respect and kindness, because she knows what it was like to have limited resources, and a not-so-perfect life. But like me, she grew strong, and although she’s more fragile and more easily scared by the world, her well of kindness is always deep.

Mark 14:7 “For ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good: But me ye have not always.” King James Version. And it’s true, no matter how hard we try to make this place better, there will always be someone who’s lost everything and unable to make ends meet, and eventually those ends will come loose and unravel and everything will fall apart for that individual, or for that group of people. So it leaves the question what can one do? If there’s almost no end to this, save for extreme measures, how can one person helpso many people who are lost and suffering, some out of circumstance, others out of their own decisions and demons. Can one save one but not help the other? Of course not, because how will one be able to tell the difference? Where does the line lie for those who are suffering because of one reason and those who are suffering because of another?

Heh… That’s really depressing, when it’s put like that, almost as if any and all efforts to remedy this is meaningless. But I remember a story I read, about something similar to all this…

While walking along a beach, an elderly wise man saw someone in the distance leaning down, picking something up and throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, picking up starfish one by one and tossing each one gently back into the water.

He came closer still and called out “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”

The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”

“I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.”

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!”

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, “I made a difference to that one!”

Heh, It’s strange what going out for some pizza can do for someone.

Making my own Path and Legacy

Saturday May 19th, I was  a participant of a Minorities Ceremony, it’s a ceremony held for those who are graduating who are of the minorities, and before the big motivational speech, one of the speakers asked us a question, he said, “Now, if you’re the first member of your family who’s achieved this, please stand up.” and I found myself standing up with several others, scattered throughout, and while we were standing the speaker said that we are the ones that have started a new path in our lives and so on.

But that got me thinking…

Here, I stand, with no one  before me, who’s walked this path before. Everything I do, be it large or small, miniscule or gargantuan, a success or a complete failure will now be the par with which others will look at and try to measure themselves after. Even if I don’t reach doctor-hood, I’ve achieved more than any one person in this family has. In my younger years, I’ve always dreamed of making my own path, burning my own trail and doing things that no one has done yet, seeing the sights that are exclusively for a select few, and be parts of moments that will barely be described in words.

It’s both scary and exhilarating, on the one hand, I have  no one to tell me what to do, what to expect, what to look for, what to do and when, which means that I’m more prone to miss opportunities, make bigger mistakes, and even forget vital things completely. On the other hand, I can go farther and utilize all my potential for this, no one can say anything save for praise that I’m even there (granted, that’s not the only good thing), I will become an inspiration for others to try harder, to break the stereotype that they’ve been placed in. I will be the Teacher for others, when at this moment, I’m still the Student.

I’m alone in this path, I have friends and family to support me, yet no one can truly relate to what I’ve done. It’s like I’m surrounded with energy and it’s all waiting to be directed by me, I’ve never came across so much potential all at once, and to have that under my control is both scary and exciting. I have no par, so anything I do with it, will be my own personal footprint into the pages of History, and yet, with no par, I will have a much harder time trying to utilize every opportunity and use all of this energy to it’s maximum potential.

But it’s the most personal manifestation of raw potential: My own energy, ready to be used at a moment’s notice, in any fashion I please, and with each step I take, forever being imprinted as my Legacy. Hmmm… My Legacy… Such a strange thing to posses, a linage or history that others will be observing closely and will examine thoroughly and will be using as their standards for making their own paths. Heh, needless to say, I’ve never thought that I’d have my own legacy. It’s interesting, I’m not doing this to be observed, yet Einstein once said, “An unobserved life is not worth living” but I always thought that this was saying not to live alone, without anyone in your life. But now I’ll be known as the first one to have a Biology Degree. Sure, in my eyes, it’s nothing special, just a piece of paper that reminds me that I’ve obtained a lot of debt, but in the eyes of others, like my family, it’s a sign of greatness achieved. A symbol of hope and honor. Believe me when I say that, I always strive to bring honor to my family, and  my name, yet, I feel that getting this degree isn’t enough, at least not for what I have planned… It’s not enough, not enough to make up for everything that I believe in, that I stand for, that I want to achieve and become…

I must do more, not as a sign of greater prestige, but as a personal goal. In order to truly bring honor and be that man that my family would be proud of, I must do more. For me, there’s only one Destination, only one Goal. And I will not rest until I have achieved it, even if I wind up doing nothing else in my Quest I have do this! I must!… No, not ‘must’.

Will. I will do this!


Today was an exhausting day, but I didn’t do anything arduous  at all. The problem was that I had planned on waking up at 7:30AM today, so I went to sleep at 12:30AM, ok, 7 hours, not so bad, just like Teddy Roosevelt. But then something happened… I couldn’t sleep, and then 12:30 became 1:30, which then became 2:30, and ultimately 3AM. I couldn’t understand it, my eyes refused to open due to them resting, yet my mind was going a mile a minute. I was tossing and turning and yet nothing could stop my mind save for the last minute passing out only to wake up 4 hours later.

So my plan to start waking up early succeeded however for whatever reason, I couldn’t sleep the night before, ha ha ha, That’s just funny. So all day I was walking around unable to form a clear thought nor form comprehensible sentences in one try. I was able to function minimally throughout the day by mopping and helping my Mom with some insurance things, but I’m at the part of my studying where I’m going to take Practice MCAT’s so I need to be isolate for long periods of time to simulate the exam as close to the real one as possible. However I can’t leave my house for 5-7 Hours randomly, there’s too many things to do, not to mention that there’s bound to be interruptions. So what I’m going to do is split the ‘Exam’ in half, I’ll probably do the Bio/Chem half, take it under the set time limit along with the breaks given, and then on the following day I’ll take the Ochem/Phys half and then the next day do the Writing Response portion as well. It’s broken down, but without any distractions (H0pefully!) I should get a sense of how the test will be on the day I take it.

In lighter news, my Ceremony is in 2 days and oddly enough, I think I’m getting excited about it. Heh, I wasn’t excited for my High School Graduation, nor was I feeling excited about this upcoming graduation as well, but I’m excited about this Minorities Ceremony where I get a Medallion… Well, somewhat excited, all I did to become a part of this Ceremony was being born in a Mexican family. In either case, I don’t know how useful this Medallion will be save for something to look at when I hang it up… Hey, if I’m going to get something, I might as well find the honor in it. I mean I guess getting this award signifies that I’m from a background of people who haven’t achieved this much. That where I am now is something of a privilege, an Honor because when those who share my blood and origins stand beside me, they’ll look at my achievements and see that Medallion, as a sign that they can be more because one of them has done it, paved the way, so to speak, and ultimately can inspire them to be more than whatever situation they’ve been placed in.

At least, that’d make me feel better. To know that all that I’ve done would inspire someone else to match, if not surpass, my goals and achievements. That would be great! So then, I have to stick to my guns if I want to even obtain a high level of Goals and Position! If someone is going to surpass me, I’m going to make sure that it’s a hard fight, otherwiseanyone will pass me!

So now, Here’s another step on this Adventure! Another step forward, another step made in certainty, in Honor, in Faith, and ultimately in Life.

Progress in the Making

I find that it’s interesting trying to change ones habits. Change. A strange thing that be as small as going left instead of right or something as Grand as going Left instead of Right. Heh heh, what I mean is that some changes are many yet so small that one doesn’t notice it, until someone points it out to them, and then all of a sudden, one is left wondering, “When did all this happened?!” and others are so gargantuan, one feels as if the entire world has shifted.

Well, I’m currently pushing myself to wake up normally at 7am, based on this article from the beloved Art of Manliness website. and it states that you cannot wake up 3 hours earlier just off the bat, one must make small changes in order to get accustomed to the change, and then little by little it’ll feel as if nothing has changed at all. In the middle of this, I find myself trying to stay awake more so than just waking up, because if I don’t make myself do something, I’m going to fall back asleep. So to prevent my stumbling self to crawling back to bed, I’m going to implement several things, and hopefully some combination of them will cause me to stay awake for the rest of the day.

In the meantime, Massive changes are approaching, I have a Minorities Ceremony this Saturday, where I will be honored due to my Hispanic brethren not being the majority of the race that is at LSU, afterwards, I’ll see if I can make it to Mandy’s birthday party, however with only $20 in my savings, I’m afraid I’m going to disappoint her. Then, I’m going to need to pay for the MCAT test, officially securing it in June when I will take it. Hopefully before then, I will have finished my Personal Statement for the AACOMAS and completed my application for Medical School, which will require more money… Soon after the MCAT, I will no longer need to study (for now that is,) for 3 hours every weekday, and then I’ll need to start looking for a job, and I have no doubt that it will be something meaningless and/or completely separate from my Biology major, which is somewhat degrading, because then I’ll be paying off the loans I got just to get that degree, only to have it do nothing for me. Sigh… but it must be done… And that’s the truth. After all, no one ever said that just because I have a degree, life will be easier, heh heh…

Change… such a fickle, yet unbiased force. The Winds of Change are often blowing during these times, foreshadowing Adaptations as well as Endurance, Trials as well as Triumphs, Strength as well as Toughness, even Endings as well as Beginnings.

And we’re all subject to this Wind, some even connect by the changes of others, Marcus Aurelius thought that we are all connected by one form of Energy, us, the world, and everything in between, all of us connected. In various forms, as well, when someone cries, another laughs, when someone feels alone, another feels at home, when someone hates, another loves.

I saw several poor and homeless people today, and close to my own home as well. And upon looking at them, I felt such an urge to reach out and help them, but I didn’t. Not that I didn’t want to, but the fact of the matter is, I couldn’t. I have nothing to offer them, save some words, I can’t even give them any time, because I have no time to give. My time is not my own. I’m tied to other priorities, other promises and oaths that must be fulfilled, and this has kept me from going out of my way to help these people.

It’s a frustrating feeling, not being able to help those in need, to see suffering and not be able to comfort them, to know that you are probably the only person in the crowd that cares about their well-being, only to turn your back on them, it breaks your heart. Each time I do, I feel pain and emptiness, I feel as if I’ve become one of the apathetic masses who shuns them like one does a stray dog. I strongly believe in the UNICEF charity organization and I had contributed to it before, but due to lack of funds, I was no longer able. I had tried to support a child who lived across the world, but I had to stop because again, my resources were limited.

But, I will not forget them…

For I will have my own time eventually. I will have the resources to help these people, and not only these people around me, but people all over the world. The Broken, the Beaten and the Damned, will forever be in my heart and in my prayers. I will save them. Not for prestige or for recognition, but for the fact that I been spared from Death various times, so then I will use this Life that was given to me to help those in need. I will earn this Life. Even if it’s only in the Eyes of God.

Feliz Dia de los Madres

Today I woke up and saw that my mother was looking at me waiting for something. I couldn’t think of anything at the moment, so I said, “What’s up?” She said, “It’s Mother’s Day.” I paused for a moment, thinking “Ok, she’s old (62) so she’s probably mixed up again.” and so I replied, “No, that’s Sunday, see?” me pointing to a calendar.  “Well, yes, but in Mexico it’s today.” Taking her word for it, I gave her a hug and asked if she wanted anything special for Breakfast, and so afterwards I had to clean her room for she was expecting guests, and so she told me that she wanted Espinaso de Res con Nopales, a Very tasty Mexican stew, yet while I was out getting the needed salsa, I got an additional item to make Enchiladas for her on Sunday, she has been telling me for sometime that she’s been craving that, and I’ve yet to get an opportunity to get the needed ingredients, but I got it today! So I’m hoping for this to be a special Mother’s Day for her… Heh, especially since it’s the first one without my Father…

Well, I’ve found a song that she used to play for me before I started school, Chubby Checker’s Limbo Rock. In those times, I was with her everywhere she went, I was the Youngest in the family out of 7 siblings so my Mother never got to spend a lot of one-on-one quality Maternal time with a lot of us. But with 2 years between myself and the brother before me, I was at home with her for sometime before I made my way into school, and those times were most special to me… And to her. Her eyes would swell up recalling those days when she’d take me out to the local K-Mart and all of the Cashier girls would gush over me and my red hair, and she’d buy me those sandwich cookies and I felt like the world was completed. Her hand in mine, we’d sing along those lines of Limbo Rock as we run errands like grocery shopping or cleaning the house. We were partners, we were friends, we were happy. We carried grand smiles on our faces and the rest of the world would smile back, just as wide. My 5-year-old world consisted of only My mother and our time together, singing, dancing, her spoiling me with cookies and candy. The world was second only to her, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. She’d teach me all about her heritage, the songs she would sing were like silk, soothing to hear and always calming, always about story that someone had made while observing various things like two trees reaching for each other as if Lovers who are finally given the chance to embrace, or of a funny story like the boy who outsmarted a wolf. Each song, each story, each moment of our time together had a lesson within it, and That’s what I will always remember, her being a teacher to me, teaching me about wits, about Honor, about treating others with respect, ha ha, even how to fight and where to hit people (she taught me this the hard way.)

And now, years later, it’s all a distant memory. To speak the truth, those times were the only thing I can remember from way back then, once school started, I was on my way. Yet, whenever possible, I would have that alone time with my mother, be it on the road heading somewhere or just watching TV, and then we’d always seem to jump right into a heart-to-heart moment, her teaching me something, or we’d talk about our times together. And now, I am here fighting to become someone she can be proud of. As time passes, I’m feeling more and more desperate in trying to become that, and she smiles and tells me that I should try to take it easy, and not push myself too hard… Heh, if I were to ask her right now, if she’s proud of me, she’d smile and would say, “Of Course.” and then list various reasons as well as accomplishments that I have done to back her reasoning.

Ha, I am invited to a Ceremony were the graduating minorites receive some Medallion on May 19th, and my first invites are my immediate family, and she turned to me and told me that she’s glad that I don’t find it shameful or embarrassing to be seen in public with her, because she’s obese and has an Oxygen tank, her smile behind a mask to protect her from foreign germs that can bring her death at any moment, her path must always a smooth one because she’s in a wheelchair. I assured her that I care about her moreso than anyone strangers opinion…

In one of our talks she made me promise something, something that’s very difficult for me to do, and it almost doesn’t seem fair at all for me to keep such a promise, but for her, I accepted. When it’s time for me to fulfill this promise, I will write it down here… Heh, I’m always of the mind that promises are made to be broken, but when one gives his/her word, then that must always be kept, and can never be broken. and yet, this is one Promise that I will do everything within my power to keep and uphold with honor.

A promise from a Mother to her Son… A Promise…