Today, I started my application for the aacomas which is the association that will process my applications for the Medical schools that I will be applying to in the future. I’m concerned though, I still don’t have a Letter of Recommendation from a DO nor a MD. and it’s required, so I need to get creative with this, and Fast.
It’s going to be interesting, this is the official first step in applying, all of the previous steps are meant for preparations for this one step! This is where it all comes together. And now I will be putting it all down, my past, my hopes and dreams, my scars and scores, all of it, I will display before them, to be judged by them, ranked among countless others who have their own ambitions and histories. Some greater than my own, others lesser. But all against me, all of us trying to fight for a chance to prove ourselves to become what we’ve desired to be. Some will quit and try other venues, others will hold the course and try again the next chance they get.
So now all that’s left is the question of: Where will I stand when the dust has settled?
Will I be defeated by more qualified candidates and be forced to try again a year later? Or Will I be victorious in obtaining a chance to do battle once again in the 2nd application? and if able, will I be victorious again? or be defeated?
Heh, it’s quite nerve-wrecking, just thinking about it…So much rides on what I say, how I say it, who I say it to. I fear that my path will turn into eggshells soon and I’ll be forced to walk upon them. However there are many things that can provide me comfort during those times. One, I am the only one in the family who’s gotten this far, Bachelor’s Degree, and with ambitions that are unmatched in the family, save for my nieces. Another is that I can always try again, during the time that has been given to me, I can start preparations for the next attempt, re-take classes, volunteer more, do more things to reinforce my application for next time, and so on.
But that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to give this my all, I will do whatever I can to be Victorious THIS time. I will make myself see it as if, Failure will be the death of me, obviously it’s not, but threaten myself with severe ramifications if I let up for a single moment. So for now, nothing matters except trying to get it right this one and only time, Tomorrow comes when it comes, it is Now that we are faced with, and it is only Now that we have the abilities to do what needs to be done…
Ha, it’s Red VS The World, and the first move is Mine to make, and it has to be such a great move so that I can keep moving forward, I have to go right through the Brick wall, Now! No Hesitation, no “What If’s” no Doubts! Everything I have, I’ve gotten, and I will have Here and Now!
… After all, it’s only the rest of my life that’s riding on this, so what’s the worst that can happen?