Today, I had to wake up at 4AM to drive John to the Metro, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to it, however on the way back, I noticed that the sun was starting to rise, and that filled me with a sense of awakeness, for I didn’t go back to sleep, but stayed up and watched the sunrise… And then I got to thinking…
Normally, I wouldn’t give it a second thought about the idea of going back to sleep, and collapse on my bed. But today, I didn’t, I… couldn’t. I was compelled to stay awake and I felt as if I had to watch this sunrise. And then, I started thinking about why people are the way they are. For example, John was never the grateful kind, from when he asked me to drive for him (or less like a lack of a request, more like a “Hey, I need to get to the Metro…” “…Uhh, I take it you want me to drive you?” “Well, yeah, how else am I going to get there?”) to the end, I never got a word of appreciation, and at this point, I don’t expect it from him. There’s simply no point, he’s lost in his hypocrisy, and I don’t think he’ll change, so I won’t be holding my breath.
So, had I have been driving for someone else, I would’ve gotten a much different experience. It wasn’t because John was never raised to be polite, he was, as were we all, yet, he chose to place certain things above others. He translated nature and nurture into what he is now, granted, it’s not the best of people, but it is who he is. He’s taken whatever is in his blood, in his mind, and in his heart, and ordered them in what he thought was best…. err… except for him, he placed himself first before anyone else, so I’ll switch from him to a general example.
As we grow in life, we are met with many influences, both good and bad. Each of which helps us form what we think is right and wrong in this world, sometimes, they blind us to other truths, and sometimes they open our eyes to the situation at hand. Yet, we decide what the worth is of each influence that comes across us, and often times, they don’t get fully appreciated as what they are, or on the other hand, they get underrated and overlooked over others. Yet, I believe that it is both, Nature and Nurture that helps us become who we are, yet, each of them have their influence in different levels across varying degrees, and some are more tangible than others, yet, regardless of how grant an influence, I strongly believe that you can change every aspect of yourself, if you so willed it.
It is in this power, that is what truly separates one person from the other, from how he faces adversity to how he laughs with a snort, we truly are the results of our own decisions, regardless of how much influence we’ve faced, we ultimately decide our fates. Which brings up the question, “What about God, and His will?” Yes, I’m a Roman Catholic, and whenever I can, I pray a Rosary before I go to sleep. God is a very large influence– scratch that, He IS the largest influence– He blesses us with rewards and shines light upon us in our darkest hour, yet, if we’ve chosen to believe, and made ourselves believe that there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, then it would be more difficult to see God’s light. All the while, wondering, why nothing is helping us, or why we feel abandoned, when we have turned our backs towards the ever-opened hands that was there all along.
So it’s interesting sometimes to interact with someone who thinks only of themselves, and steps on others, for personal benefit, It always makes me wonder what possible reasons, factors, and experiences could’ve made the person in that way. Eventually, it boils down to: Was it something good or something bad? Bad people can come from good things, ie the spoiled Prince and good people can come from bad things, ie the Good guy from the wrong side of the tracks.
So it has come to mind, that when you’re trying to change a grand influence, like your genetics, the fight is rather uphill, mostly because it’s been established for years or the requirements have high standards, etc etc, but I also think that it’s because, as in Life, any fight that’s difficult is oftentimes proportional to how much value the results bear. So to change something within your life that’s becoming difficult, often times a sign that this change will become worth it in the end… heh, Or not, that’s the great thing about Life, one never really knows. I’m glad that it still holds that sort of mysteriousness in my heart.
So now as I finish this, I’ll end it by saying, “Good morning.”