Frustrations

A difference of opinion, a deaf ear, sincere ignorance. It all leads to the same result: Frustration.

‘Lucky’ for me, I have often 2 doses of frustrating people, one within my home and one outside of it. Both are bonded to me by blood, yet both are equally frustrating for their own reasons… Both equally blind.

So in my frustrations, my only consolation is the idea that somewhere along the line, I’m eventually going to run into someone who will, no doubt, remind me of one of them.

Fortunately, when that happens, it won’t require something as grand as obtaining the authority over Medicine, and knowledge of Life and Death, because by then, I would have already have it.

Yet, despite all of this, the potential that lies within, their flaws, and their continuing of empty promises of changing for the better, I’m still ignored, looked down upon, and any advice I’ve given, based on years of observations and data (also known as “My Childhood”), is disregarded.

So what am I to do?

How can I communicate with someone who, quite simply, will not listen?

When faced with a patient who will not hinder my words, what’s a Doctor to do?

Ha ha ha, I don’t know, the patient pays for my advice, so whether or not he takes it is upon him…

Sigh… But that’s not what good doctors do…

Good doctors take an interest, a genuine concern for their patients, they go above and beyond the line of duty for those under his/her care, and sometimes, they don’t take ‘No’ for an answer.

No matter how frustrating, disappointing, unfulfilling, they do what they know is right, because it’s the oath that they’ve taken, that binds them to do the right thing to any and all who seek their help.

Well, in my case, this is easy to do for strangers, even frequent customers, but for siblings who refuse to listen to me? Not so easy. Being the youngest, I bear no older authority; despite my education, I’m only responded with, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”; and despite numerous occasions where I’ve proven my worth, I’m met with someone who’s chosen not to register said occasions in their views of me.

Apathy doesn’t work, because they’re permanent parts of my family, so I can’t just ignore them when they’re here, despite they having the ability to ignore me. I will not resort to Force, because that’ll only cause more problems, and with all of the pent-up frustrations within me, I’m going to instinctively use information of vitals and do something permanent. For years, I’ve simply chalked it off as ‘Nothing’ because I was too young to register it, as my mind was full of sugar and shiny things. I can’t go back to that state of mind, because I’ve matured now. So now, what I do is simply catch myself, not allowing my pride to get caught up in conversations with them, and give short, neutral answers, “Yep.” “OK.” “We’ll see.”

One of them constantly says, “Be careful or you’ll be like me.” and all I can do here is just laugh. There’s no way, no combination or series of events that can lead me to become like him, or like any of my siblings, for that matter. There’s no way, nothing in their lives match my own, other than blood, concern for the well-being of my Mother, and particular family members, but their morals and values are far different than my own, smaller, to speak the truth. They only care about their lives, their possessions, themselves.

I guess, there’s really nothing I can do. Their view of me is based on their opinions and observations and whatever else they’ve decided to base my character on. I can’t change that, I can’t change how they choose to see me, nor should I. It’s simply not up to me, all I can do is just do what I know is the right thing to do. So if they need a ride or help, what else can I say but, “Yes” ? If they want to tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about, what else can I say but, “Sure.” ? And in the future, when they come to ask me for advice, only to throw away my time and effort, what else can I say but, “Ok.” ?

Sigh… I know it isn’t the best option, but in my current situation, it’s my only one. I can’t leave, just yet, and I can’t explain to them what their problems are, nor give them solutions to said problems, it’s just going to fall on deaf ears, so what can I do? Nothing, sometimes the best move is to be still. Let them talk, let them think their thoughts, let them see me how they want to, all I can do is just show them who I am, if they’re surprized, shocked, amazed, or disgusted about it, then who am I to care! They can’t do anything about it. and I can’t do anything about what they think, so…. Meh.

It’ll be frustrating, because they’re setting their limitations upon me, but meh, my own limitations far exceed whatever limitations they put on me, so what am I losing?

I will not be restricted to the limitations of others.

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