If I can just have this…

I’ve been pondering about things I would be ecstatic to have, when I have my own home and debt paid off. Things unlike the traditional, T.V., Couch, Bed, and so on.

Things I’ve always wanted to have…

A Crusader Sword! I’ve always associated myself as a modern day Knight and I’m a member of the KofC, so it’s only natural that I find a manifestation of this. Through this sword, I’ll be able to see the true meaning of the sword, not to Destroy, but to Defend. Like my favorite anime Trigun, Vash the Stampede uses a gun to do everything he can to preserve and save life, and not kill a single person, regardless of the cost.

I will use this example with the Crusader Sword, displayed of course, but I will try to see it as a sign that I am to be a defender of the weak and helpless, as Christ said, “Whenever you do this to the least of your brothers and sisters, you have done it for me.” fulfilling the Crusader part of the Sword, being a Knight of God that is “… Without fear in the face of his enemies; is brave and upright that God may love him; who speaks the truth always, even if it leads to his death; Who safeguards the helpless and does no wrong; That is his oath.” This Sword will be a constant physical reminder of that.

A silvery and sharp sign that I should be one who helps others, with my own abilities and talents, even at the cost of my own well-being. That’s going to be the hard part. It’s instinctive to have self-preservation as the main priority in the mind, but it’s possible to teach yourself to think of others before yourself. To run to someone’s aid in spite of danger, like Firemen and Policemen, well maybe not in that same sense, but when faced with any given situation, to have my mind instinctively think of the well-being of others instead of my own.

And even on my downtime, to make efforts towards charities and not just handing some homeless guy some change, but helping him find a solution to his problem…

Heh, this is starting to sound naive and irrational.

I have to be aware that I have limits, that I cannot save the whole world, and that Murphy’s Law can apply to any and all situations. It seemed like my Father had no limits when it came to doing whatever task he had at hand. He just moved, and kept on moving, regardless of how low his energy levels were. And I mean, low, the moment he sat down on his recliner, he knocked out! So how can I learn to ignore those aches and pains, the voice that screams ‘No more, please. Let me sit down. Please let me rest.‘ and to stop my hands from shaking?

I’ll look at my Sword. I’ll stare at this refined piece of metal designed to destroy, decimate, to take life, and I’ll hold it in my hands, and I’ll squeeze it’s grip, feel it as an extension of myself, raise it up, and realize the potential that lies within it. The Question it will be asking me, not “Who do I kill?” but “Who can I save?” And then I’ll realize, that true knights aren’t allowed to be tired, nor weary, nor exhausted, nor have no energy; not when there’s someone who needs my help. How can I be tired when I have to help some body?

I realize now that I can have some things purely for the sake of decorational purposes, or because I’ve always  wanted to have one, but I’m starting to think that the kind of person I will become, will have a part of myself embedded or reflected within each and every object I possess.

For I am a Knight, and this is my Oath.


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