Or rather, how I realized when I threw myself off balance.
These last few days, I’ve found myself staying up until 2 in the morning, waking up more and more tired, my patience was being more short with the people around me, and this whole time I was wondering why. Only to find out that almost everything is off in my life, for one simple thing.
the same Rest and Restoration that I’ve idiotically deprived myself of, causing my senses, thinking, and overall physical state to be at less than optimal.
This has helped me to learn, or rather, to remember the importance of having balance in one’s life, bringing everything down to a minimal level while having the body completely focus on restoring the energy levels of my mind, body, and soul.
Strange, how something so simple as laying down and drifting off, letting go of all of the senses, all of the impulses and stimulation that causes the body to focus on the external.
I keep saying that I don’t want to sleep, or that I don’t need too much of it, but the truth of the matter is that without sleep, I’ll more than likely stop functioning altogether, at least to the point where I’ll randomly walk into rooms without remembering why. Granted, that still happens sometimes right now, but it’ll happen more frequently when I’m sleep deprived.
Also another thing, is that while I’m busy trying to help everyone else and take care of everything, I have a responsibility to make sure I do my best to help them, and I can’t help them with my best when I’m not at my best. The very first thing the Heart does for any creature, after collecting the de-oxygenated blood, but right before distributing it to the whole body and brain, is to distribute it among the Coronary Arteries, which are the arteries that cover the heart itself. It replenishes and maintains itself and it’s functions before, if not while, sending out the needed oxygenated blood to the other organs. The heart takes care of itself first because, if I didn’t, then it dies and then there’d be nothing else giving blood to the other organs, and then the whole system fails.
I think I’ve written about this before… Haven’t I? I’m certain I have.
Heh, with my luck, it’ll probably have been over a post that I wrote about sleeping, before.
But, it’s good to let go from time to time, not just in sleeping, but in life. Let’s face it, you can’t control every single aspect of your life, and to think you could otherwise, is just plain ridiculous. I’m a firm believer that all of life is like that of a Chess game, where one (in this case, me) is a Pawn and God, the Chess player, moving all of the pieces while I can only move forward. So why fool yourself into thinking that you even have control at this very moment?
In all of the hours of our day, we strive to obtain as much control as possible over our lives, What we eat, where to go, what to do, how to get there, yet although sleeping seems like a choice we make, it’s more like a decision we’ve already accepted, a decision to let go of all other choices.
But there’s something special about letting go in order to sleep. Ironically, having nothing is the ultimate sense of freedom, you’re free from every form of shackles, nothing can hold you down if you have nothing in your pockets. Letting go gives one a rather interesting perspective on Life, that the control-freaks can never see. “When you lose, you win” – What Dreams May Come.
To sleep, I mean really sleep, is probably one of the few natural joys in the world, that one can experience at any moment in time. It’s the best way to end an evening and to start a morning.
And with that, I should end this entry and work on my sleep, ha ha ha.