Sacrifice

My world is defined by it, built by it, ruled by it. It is through sacrifices and what comes after, that my life has been what it is.

The Sacrifices of others, both known and unknown, however distant they may be related, I’ve come to realize that I’m constantly affected by it. I have heart-to-heart conversations with my family and it comes down to the fact that, they’ve given up something or have done something that causes them to be put at some sort of emotional risk.

At first, I had no idea of this concept, until I begin to think about some of the things that I have given up and will give up for the sake of others. My time spent with the girls, the heart-to-heart conversations where I’m having this discovery, and other situations where I’m giving up my own well-being for others. Now I’m seeing through different eyes, but this is a bit of a problem, on the one hand, I can appreciate those close to me, a lot more, I can laugh with them and learn to see them for what they’ve done.

On the other hand, for those who still don’t know of the sacrifices, and act as though nothing has been done, I’m more short with them, thinking that they’re being disrespectful to the one who had sacrificed. But that’s a problem, because the best sacrifices are the ones where no one is aware of what has been done. Otherwise, one would be sacrificing for the sake of acknowledgement and later on, praise, and that’s the completely wrong way to live life.

So needless to say, it’s really I who have a problem. I cannot get mad at people for reasons unknown to them, that’s unfair to everyone, I need to learn to calm down, to let it go.

I’ve been having that problem lately, trying to calm down, but that’s a post for another time.

The point I want to make here, is that I never really realized how much my life was paid for through others. I never knew how many fights there were on my behalf, nor how much time, energy and sanity was spent in order for me to become how I am at this moment. Which is why being the best that I can be has always been crucial to my life, I guess it’s only now that I realized that this had always been the reason. I must be a good man because so many people have given up so much for me! What kind of guy would I be if I simply threw it all away for no reason?!

To sacrifice something for someone else is the greatest sign of love and trust. The greater the sacrifice, the greater the love for the individual, the greater the trust, the greater the potential the individual has to do something or be something grand, because it’s not the energy of just one person, but two in one life, causing the capacity of potential to skyrocket and the quality of life to be richer.

So I need to keep going, and soon, I will be the one sacrificing family, friends, peace of mind, sanity, social life, and eventually my whole life, for the sake of others. And whether or not they’re aware of it, it doesn’t matter, because in the end, I will find a way to love them for who they are, heh, it’s always been in my nature to be an idiot like that, to have hope for the world.