The Nameless

I’m feeling very uncertain about my personal statement, to the point that I’m almost confident that it doesn’t accurately say what I want it to say.

And to this point, it’s bugging the hell out of me!

It’s even gotten so far as to cause me to question my own identity and purpose. Great.

So now I’m trying to re-discover my identity, what I was so certain to have, I’ve now lost.

Hmm. So what is mastery of self? Knowing oneself? Learning of the self?

I know my physical limitations, how far I can push before I know I’m in fear of endangering myself, what physical labor I’m capable of, as well as knowing that exercise is crucial to my overall happiness.

I’m aware of my mental and emotional limits as well, I know what makes me laugh, cry, smile, get angry, feel depressed, and I know how strong my mind is up to a breaking point, thankfully, a point I haven’t gotten to yet, but I know my mind, how I learn and think, and feel.

I even know the things that don’t settle well with me, My name, my face, and my lack of opportunities. But these are things outside my control, besides, I’m certain that other people would have similar if not the same problems

So, I need to discover my sense of self… again. It’s a sense of balance between oneself and the world, out the universe for that matter, the one outside and the one within.

So now, I’m going to have to try different means and ways to achieve this, not exactly sure how, but I’m certain that I can find various ways to at least get started, mediating and exercise help clear the mind, so maybe if I try hard enough, I can reach a state of focus through exhaustion, or maybe a point of peace within a storm.

Heh, this is going to take a lot of work, so I better get started with the run I have to do today.


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