Safe on the sidelines

Yesterday, I was driving and for a reason still unknown, I choose to stay behind an unusually slow car. Other cars behind me choose to pass both of us up, particularly a black truck, which now switched to be in front of both the slow blue car and myself; the three of us stopped at a red light, going to make a left turn. The light turned green for us to go, the black truck begins to move forward and suddenly… CRASH!

In what seemed like a blink of an eye, a white truck runs the stop light and crashes into the black truck, slamming into it so hard, it pushed the black truck into the middle of the intersection.

The cars began moving turning to continue upon their original destinations… I immediately scanned the drivers… But I didn’t stop.

I kept on going, I didn’t make a single effort to get out of my vehicle to help them… ‘I called 911, at least.’ I tell myself as I kept going, but the truth is, as shaken up as I was at the thought that, it could’ve been me, I was more shocked at the fact that I didn’t make an effort to help them or check on them, or something!

It was even asked of me, “Did You go out and help them?” But I said, “No.” And provided some ridiculous excuse as to why I did not help someone who was in of dire need.

What happened to me? What have I become? I used to be the one who moved immediately into the aid of others, and now I’ve become a frightful child, scared to get my hands dirty. I feel like punching myself for it…

I read from AoM.com about the wolves, sheep and sheepdogs, we metaphorically manifest into, in our lives, and I’ve done nothing but manifest into a coward.

Even at this moment I’m asking myself why I didn’t go out there, and I’ve got no answer. Why I didn’t try to help someone, why I didn’t try something! I merely stayed on the side where it was safe and called 911.

As I was traveling back, I had to go see the aftermath, and I was relieved to see the the road was blocked off and that there were paramedics doing their job, to see that someone was helping them, rather than watching it and simply moving on, like I did.

If I’m truly going to help people, I better grow some backbone beforehand.

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