A few days ago, I came across a link on Facebook called, “Urban Samurai” piquing my interest for all occupations of servitude, the link took me to a website of a man who wished to study the morals and ethics of a Samurai and implement them unto his own life.
Heh heh, needless to say, I was hooked. Someone’s who’s path was similar to my own, at least on the Ethical level. Someone who wants to take a moral code from the past and live by it in the present, is someone I want to follow on their journey.
I’ve started reading his blog posts from the beginning and I already see a friend in this stranger, and it’s come to my attention that I need to start conducting myself in a manner similar to an adult.
I’ll always have things that fascinate me to the point where I’m mindlessly flailing my arms like a 5 year-old, but I need to start remembering that I have responsibilities towards others around me, particularly, Siry. Her growing pains tell me that I must be careful of how I treat others, how vital patience is, and how I need to act like a man, for the sake of a child.
A man doesn’t have a short temper, nor does he lose his cool when dealing with stressful situations, and is particularly kind to children, even when the children aren’t. But there is a lot missing between the man I want to be and the man that I am now, and this is a little unsettling for me. Obviously because I’m not the man that I want to be, but also because I know that I can be, and am simply not doing it. I’ts becoming more and more apparent that there are hundreds of opportunities to prove to myself that I’m a man/adult/grown-up, and a lot of these slip through my fingers for whatever pointless reason at the time.
So I’m feeling somewhat guilty for various reasons.
I need to learn to stop and think about what I say and do before I do it. On one of the first posts of the Urban Samurai, he writes about how the samurai take seven breaths before making a decision. 7 breaths between a good decision and a bad decision, between a good day and a bad day, between peace and regret.
This sounds like I’m going to need to do these in order to make life peaceful, but seven breaths can also be translated into a short prayer, or just a quick glance at the phone (without turning it on to distract me).
But the general concept is something that I’ve just realized is something that I don’t do anymore: Step outside of the world for a moment (or seven breaths) and just be. I used to imagine myself standing alone in a black room, with my eyes closed, this somehow rejuvenates my energy and I’m ready to tackle what lies ahead. It’s come to my attention that I don’t do that anymore (and that I say that too much), this helped me get through some tough times, I wonder how something so vital had slipped my mind.
I guess being a Samurai/Knight/Man requires a lot of effort especially towards conduct and self-restraint, but in the end, self-control will be one of the main traits I’ll need in nearly every level of my life.