The Odds Stacked Against Me

I’m writing this entry on my phone, because my laptop has no access to the internet because the bill needs to be paid, and with no money to pay for it, here I am.

Truth be told, my life hadn’t changed much with lack of internet, in fact, it’s kinda relieving, not having the entire outside world within your reach, it helps one explore the world within oneself. However, that being said, I’ve come to realize that not having the internet is currently a bad thing, because as someone trying to look for a job, 95% of all applications are done online, not to mention applications to schools, letters to important people, as well as vital information are all online.

To add to that, the PA program requires me to take a statistics class before applying, I was also thinking about throwing a medical terminology course as well. Yet even if I took online courses, there’s the small matter of paying for it.

I still need to shadow a PA To get a good recommendation letter, as well as more volunteer hours, but that isn’t a priority at the moment. What is a priority is that my loans are becoming overdue, my bills are also reaching their deadlines, no internet, soon-to-be no phone, and no job, one would think I’d be sweating bullets and losing sleep…

But I’m not. In all honesty, my mind is calm, my heart is at peace, and I’m sleeping quite soundly at night, the reason? Faith.

I’m not sure how to explain it, but I know that by worrying over this, nothing will be accomplished, so I don’t. In my heart, I know that I’ll be alright, that my future is secure and bright, that no matter how high the odds are stacked against me, and it’s pretty high, my life is in God’s hands. To have faith, isn’t to be blind, but to walk the path, knowing that everything will be alright, to lift up ones head even when there seems to be no reason to, to find that light at the end no matter how long one has been in the dark.

This is rather dangerous thinking, I’m sure. Mostly because it can easily fall into apathy, but when checked, this what I believe is the right course. Time had always been against me, that uphill battle just never seems to end, and yet, here I am with my head and my hopes as high as they can be.

No matter how high the odds are, I know that I’ll be exactly where I’m needed to be.

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