Today, I was having a conversation with Nena and Greggy, and the conversation shifted towards me and my problems with faith. They both repeated, in their own words, the concept that Faith is only felt within, it’s not something tangible to be seen with the eyes nor the ears, it must be felt first, then there’s something to be seen with one’s eyes and ears.
And it was funny, because the examples they used, were things that I’ve seen in my own life, that instance where something tells you to pull back and you casually listen to it, only to have avoided tragedy, like that accident I saw a couple of weeks ago. And it was reminded of me, that God only gives us what we need when we need it, even if it’s something as important as a job or the future of some young individual trying to be a doctor. But as my sister put, “That means that you’re not ready for this yet, that God is saying, ‘I need to prepare you just a little bit more'” I believe that what she speaks is genuinely true, not that those were exactly God’s words, but that there’s a reason why I’m not in medical school yet, why everything has, and is, happening exactly as it should.
And from all of the things that they were describing how faith should be felt in one’s life, I felt like these things were already happening. Which led me to believe that, that level of faith that I thought eluded me, was already in front of my all along.
I remember a phrase that goes, “The last person to realize that they’re surrounded by a body of water, is the fish.” It’s quite possible, that I was already at the point that I wanted to be in my faith, but that I didn’t believe I was in it, still tells me that something is missing, “You believe in God, the Devil and all of them, but you can still not have faith.” another helpful quote from my loving sister, “To have faith, is to love something so much that you’re willing to die for them.” So this makes me wonder if I have enough faith to be willing to die for it. I always thought I did, but then I think about all of the times when I didn’t take the chance to thank God for all that He’s done for me, in front of friends and family. Heh, so many missed opportunities…
But now things are different, I have the faith planted within me like a seed, now all I need to do is with all of the patience in the world, watch it grow, as I strength it, feed it, care for it, and nurture it with all of the love that I have. And eventually, it’ll no longer be a seed, it will be something that blossoms into beauty and love.
I’ve gotta say, writing my posts on another medium and then putting it on here is working out pretty well for me, this is definitely something that I’ll maintain.