It’s September the 3rd.
It was the morning of this very day 5 years ago that my Father fell.
And I’m here, looking up news and updates on what I’ve learned will be my future career.
I wonder if he’d like the fact that I’ve chosen Prosthetics and Orthotics as my career instead of regular medicine. Heh, knowing him, he’d reply with something vague like, “Pues, si lo quieres.” (“Well, if that’s what you want”) When I’m contemplating the course of my life, Gee, thanks old man.
But I can’t blame him for my lack of direction, I’ve only got myself to blame, he obviously can’t make that decision for me, and he knows that. So his thinking would be, “So why would we talk about it? If that’s your path, then that’s your path. Start walking.” He knew what had to be done, and he’d see it to the end. I think if the roles were reversed, he wouldn’t ask me what I thought, he’d simply tell me what he was going to do.
But I have to remember that I’m not my father. I am only me. And my path is very different from his, I cannot compare the two of us, it’s not possible. All I can do is utilize everything he’s taught me to what I’m doing with my life, right now.
And right now, I’m working on making my resolve as solid as possible! God has finally shown me where I’m going to go with my life, and this is it! There’s no more room for doubt anymore, no more room for questions on where I’m going or what my purpose is. This is it. It took five years for me to reach this point and now I’m set on my path.
Heh, I think if this wasn’t my path, I’d be hesitant on writing these words, or there’d be a lingering thought in the back of my mind, but there’s nothing. It’s almost strange. I say almost, because to be honest, I’ve never felt more at peace with all of this. Even researching how far I might have to go for all of this, I’m OK with it. I welcome it! Because it’s only now that it all makes sense: That thought that I’d never be a doctor, The constant reinforcement that helping people is what I must do, The way my heart breaks whenever I see someone struggle with walking or moving in any way less than their normal ways.
I feel like that Agent in Usual Suspects, when he finally sees the big picture. It really does hit you like a truck. Or I guess in this case, it was like walking in the dark and suddenly having the entire room light up, finding yourself exactly where you are, and where you’ve been.
I hope other people discover this feeling. It’s excitement and peace put together. Looking forward to what lies ahead, yet not making out anything for certain. Admiring the unknown, and knowing that it’s there.
It’s a feeling unlike anything I’ve felt before.