Priorities

It’s 1:12 AM and I’ve discovered that for quite possibly the past hour or so, I’ve been wasting my time on the internet. I’m going to teach myself to manage my time more efficiently and be more productive.

Also Siry made me a Loom Bracelet, basically it’s small rubber bands tied together, it’s a bit girly, but it’s a gift from her, so like everything else she has given me, I will treasure it dearly.

I’ve been meaning to confess something.

I usually get somewhat “concerned” whenever I read scary stories, mainly based on real experiences other people have, it doesn’t even have to be long, but for some reason there’s a sudden stab of fear that causes my heart to beat just a bit harder, and for the life of me, I can’t understand why this always happens, it doesn’t matter of it’s a scary picture or a sentence, just the mere mention of ghosts or evil spirits and I get the idea that somehow by reading someone else’s story has caused some gateway to open in my life where the worst possible poltergeist can enter.

Fear comes from uncertainty, but that’s the funny part, after this sense of fear has entered my mind, any slight sound or noise grabs my attention, a small crinkle of paper and my attention darts towards its origin. It’s not only embarrassing, but disappointing. “In God’s perfect Love, there is no room for Fear” This passage from the Bible has always provided the comfort to rid my mind of this childish fear, but just the fact that it gets to me in the first place is where my frustration lies.

I don’t know, maybe I’m still a kid at heart and so I’ve discovered the bad side of that statement. In either case, I’m taking this as a sign that I’m still not putting my faith into my beliefs, which means that there’s still something I’m doing wrong… or maybe not doing something… I think, it’s something related to not actively showing my faith to those around me in public… I should smile and let God take control of my life at all times. After all, I’m human and am completely flawed, I’m an adult who gets scared from ghost stories, for Heaven’s sake! I’m laughing at myself as I’m typing this, this is just ridiculous, who am I to say that I’m in control of anything in this life? I could be hit by a bus tomorrow and that’ll be the end of it.

Kinda grim, I know, but still, the point remains. I need to reflect my religion into my mannerisms, not show it off, but to prove to myself and everyone around me, how much it truly is a part of my every day life… Which is pretty much every part of my life. So, whatever comes my way, I know it’s a gift from God!

Random Quote #127:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference -Reinhold Niebuhr

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Breaking the Habits

Heh, This is my 200th post and it’s about my 26th birthday.

Studies have shown that at the age of 25, the human brain completes its maturation cycle, so I guess this means that I really don’t have any excuse to be immature or act like an idiot.

But one thing, I’ve started to notice about myself is, at this point, I’m growing tired of putting things off, of seeing things left unfinished, or work left undone. Something has stirred in me to go out of my way to get it done. Usually, I wouldn’t even notice these things, but now, it’s on the corner of my eye, and with nearly no hesitation, I get to work. The TV show isn’t as important as picking up these random articles of clothing, or as sweeping something that has fallen to the floor.

My years spend as my Father’s assistant, is starting to itch as I keep driving my car without proper maintenance. I’m seeing more and more opportunities to get things done, and lately, I’ve been taking them, seemingly out of nowhere.

Now I’m not saying this is a bad thing, but it’s rather shocking, exciting, but most of all, interesting… My youthful habits of letting things slide is diminishing and now I’m taking actual pride in the things around me, the idea that if I live here then I should make it as best as I can, because I live here. I simply cannot turn a blind eye, these are the actions of a child, not of a man. I’ve always wanted to prove myself as a man, yet it’s only at this point that I realized that, I’ve done nothing that brings me closer towards being a man, save for living this long.

I have so many opportunities to prove myself and these remain at the wayside, everything that life would demand of a man is right here within my grasp, and I’m not reaching for it, for practically no reason. I need to Man up, quite literally.

A Man doesn’t complain about the work, he doesn’t let things slide when he has the ability to do something about it, he doesn’t try to find the blame, he just fixes the problem, he’s willing to get down and dirty to get the job done, regardless of what has happened during his day. A Man does what needs to be done, no questions asked!

This is the habit, the main habit that I need to develop, the habit of success that will cause the rest of my life to be successful, and ironically, the reasons for it are not to achieve success, but to achieve personal satisfaction of a job well done. A Man doesn’t boast about himself, he merely does what’s necessary.

So, I will now break the habits I have of sleeping in, watching TV, checking the internet for random things, doing childish things. I will replace these with the habit-building productivity of a Man.

Of all of the gifts, I shall receive for this birthday, This shall be the one I shall strive to treasure.