A Stream of Randomness

Day 12: Give stream-of-consciousness writing a try. This is where you basically just write out whatever comes into your head at the moment it comes into your head. It can feel bizarre, and it’s certainly not structured, but it can lead to some valuable insights into what’s going on in your mind. I’ll give you a 10-second example from right now, while looking out my window: “Boy, I have a nice-looking grill outside and the weather is beautiful…just what we need after all this cold and snow. That cloud looks like a ship from Star Wars… it makes me want to be outside.. maybe I need to spend more time outside and appreciate the fresh air. Perhaps I’ll open a window!” Random? Absolutely. Offering some helpful insight about my desire/need for fresh air? Affirmative. Try this out for 10-15 minutes. You may uncover something — no matter how small — you hadn’t previously realized

Hmmm… I think this is also called, “Free writing” but I’ll give it a try…

Timer is on. I’m not too fond of this current Linkin Park song. I remember sitting in my bro’s old T-bird singing along to the lyrics of their original songs. I wonder why I keep clicking on the NF chat if I’m not going to say anything. Man, I need to cut my hair. but I still don’t know how to cut it without having it so short and make it look just right. I’ve noticed that my hair has a life of it’s own, first it was parted in the middle and long, and now it’s make itself into something of a cowlick. I wonder if I put enough gel in my hair, I’ll look like one of those guys on Mad Men. Wait, I’ve never seen Mad Men. Man, the Advil PM is kicking in now. My eyes feel weird. I wonder why I’m so paranoid when the songs that I’m listening to have whispering voices in it. I need to stop being so scared. Man, I loved Final Fantasy V, that was a really good game, and the music was awesome! I still can’t believe Nubuo Uematsu sat 1 row, and about 8-9 chairs down to my left. My phone is now fully charged. I wonder how Marlena is, I wonder if she liked the movie, 47 Ronin. I’m really glad that the ending was the same. Man, Saga is weird, I like it though, I can’t wait to read more of it. Man, my throat feels like something is there, I knew Siry was going to get me sick, I knew it! If only she’d listen to me. I wonder if I die from this same sickness or something related to it, would she listen due to some life-scarring event like my death. My eyes are getting harder to keep open, this is a funny feeling. I wonder if I’ll ever learn how to play the Piano like how I hear in some songs. I hated that song “right Therr” by whatever-his-name-was. I kept feeling like punching someone every time I heard it. Why do I have this lamp if I never use it? Why was it dumped on me? I’m glad Nataku can finally stand on his own, I really had no way to keep him up, wait, how long have I had Nataku? I remember Shen Long was a present, but where did I get my Nataku Gundam? Oh well… My closet is open, I wonder if there’s anyone else that’s still awake right now. Man, I’m tired, that’s definitely the medicine kicking in. Hmm… I want to keep my Halo 4, or was it 3? calendar, but the year is over, so what do I do with it now? I was hoping Britt would have signed it, she’s cute, but I think she wouldn’t go for a guy like me. Come to think of it, I haven’t played a console game in a long while, I should really get back in to it. Maybe some of those guys from that Young Adult Ministry have played console games. That Alejandra girl was pretty cute, but I think she’s too young for me, the rule was “half my age plus seven.” So she was barely out of High school, so that’s a creepy thought. Wait, is tomorrow the third Monday of the month? I wonder what that doctor saw in me to help me learn how to take pressure manually? Maybe she felt sorry for me. I should stop feeling embarrassed about my low GPA. I need help, I need to follow a doctor who can help me get back on track. I wonder how Harlan is doing, I wonder if I should’ve gone to the Caribbeans with him. I really hope he’s alright. He’s a good guy. whoops, forgot to put this on full screen… that’s better. Man, my eyes are getting heavier… I wonder if I pass out right now, will I hit my head on the metal frame of my bed. It sure is dark out there, but I guess that’s because I have light in here. I’m yawning too much. I need to learn how to do a back flip or a side flip so I can wear my Assassin’s Creed hoodie and look cool while doing it. I love this song, Distant worlds. It’s sad– what’s that on my neck? huh, I didn’t see anything. oh well, must be a hair. I put my timer to 15 mintes, right? Oh yeah. I wonder how much time I have left. Another Yawn. I really hope I don’t get sick.

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I’m not lost in my own world, I’m simply enjoying the journey

Wind, Rain, Thunder and Lightning, Blackouts, and things thrown about. That pretty much sums up my day today.

The canopy in the backyard tipped over, with the cover torn apart by the wind, and the moment I saw that, I had to pull it back into the backyard before it tipped over completely and into the crowded street, so then, I had to pull out the now-torn top, remove the legs of the skeletal canopy so it can be easily maintained, and not be high enough off the ground to be struck by lightning.

Right when I came back inside, it turns out Mom’s room had lost power, and for fear that something had fallen upon me, was deciding to go down the stairs, oxygen tank in hand. Luckily, her reasoning stopped her and she simply waited for me to hear her. I checked the fuses and gave her power back to her room, and when I went to check on her, she was somewhat concerned, and I’m sitting in front of her, covered in dirt and sweat and this huge grin is on my face.

Usually during a disaster, I always feel like, I’m wired backwards, I’m completely fascinated by Forces of  Nature, by emergencies that happen seemingly at random and unexpected times. While working on the canopy, trying to prevent it from falling on some unsuspecting victim, I was laughing and smiling. While I was checking the house during the blackout which happened after the above event, I was singing! “Dream A Little Dream of Me” by Michael Bublé. A good song, yet unfitting for the storm, I usually sing “Singing in the Rain” but, alas, there was hardly any rain to sing to.

Ha ha ha! I love it! Granted it’s a terrible situation to find oneself in, especially when there’s so many circumstances when one needs electricity to live, yet, I find myself relishing the moment. My mind moves faster, blood starts to flow as my heart begins to speed up, my senses are heightened and I’m in the state of Fight or Flight, and against the Forces of Nature, boy, do I love to fight!

I find myself the sort of man, who enjoys raises his hands when the wind is blowing the hardest, who stands his ground when the tide and the waves try to push him, who remains still and watches the flames dance on the wood, who  stares at the stars, simply to acknowledge them and hopefully be acknowledged in return.

I’m not an environmentalist, although I know that the world can live perfectly fine without us, yet we cannot live without the world. I’m… a guy with simple tastes, the things I like are cheap, and it doesn’t take much money to make me smile. I’m a sentimental person, and possess only so much, and I don’t plan on having much more, perhaps a few things, but I’m no collector, as a guy, I have no tastes in fancy/fast cars, nor any other such big toys. A meal is a meal regardless if it’s made professionally or not, a cup of Ramen tastes just as good as the Carl’s Jr. $6 burger.

Heh, I feel like I’m writing on a dating website…

The point is that I am fully aware of how I feel about Life and everything in it, and I’m completely aware of how different it is from how other people define their lives, and it’s because of this gap between them and myself that I find both frustration and solace, more of the latter than of the former.

I am a weird guy, that’s just it, I cannot change that. Today’s storm reminded me of how distant our worlds really are, and I cannot forget that, because it’s due to that distance that I will have all of the reserves needed to do what I need to do, because my actions won’t make sense in the eyes of others nor will my reasons for doing so, until they understand why. Until they can do that, I’ll always be weird, or in Spanish, Preternatural, extraño, raro, destino.

Not sure how destino fits in there, but I like it.

This is truly a wonderful universe, having various worlds of different corners overlapped, in such a way that it almost feels like we’re all living on the same planet.

The Strings, ahh Yes, the Strings

Last night, or rather today at 1AM, I happened upon a rather interesting artist, Lindsey Stirling.

I was first watching Peter Hollens on Youtube, doing his song of A cappella of the Skyrim Theme with lyrics as seen here. Then I saw their ‘duet’ with Lindsey Stirling, seen here. And although I don’t play Skyrim myself, I loved the song and my video game nerdiness was piqued when I saw their outfits and *ahem* Battle sequence.

Ahhh, but what really pulled my heart was Lindsey’s Zelda Medley. Outside the fact that she looks gorgeous up close,it was her playing style upon her violin that really got me. I’ve always respected and appreciated the Violin, despite the fact that personally, I’d go with the Acoustic Guitar or the Piano.

I remember in the Distant Worlds Concert that I had gone to, Nubuo Uematsu and Arnie Roth did a rendition of Dark World, and Mr. Roth (who was the conductor) did a solo on the Violin and it was amazing, Sad and dark and absolutely wonderful!

This link was the concert that I had actually gone to. Listening to it right now, still captivates me. I feel entranced by it, it’s a sad and lonely theme, yet with Uematsu on the organs, it signifies gravity and grandness throughout the background, like an overwhelming darkness, both fragile and consuming… Heh, I think you can hear me cheering in the background…

I also remembered the day when a friend of mine played I believe it was “Spring” by Vivaldi, I was captivated by her playing and thought it was played splendidly, despite her saying that she kept messing up in pieces and segments.

So then I realized that, I’ve had a lot of interactions with the Violin. It’s a masterful, however small, instrument. Capable of pulling such feelings of sadness into a form to allow all around it to hear, as well as to bring simple liveliness to the entire room.

… And now I want one. I’m inspired, and captivated as well. I’ve seen so many various people play it, and it has always been an instrument I’ve respected and loved. So, I will add it to my Trial of the Bard. 1) Obtain a Violin and 2) Learn to play 5 songs on it! Heh, looks like I’m going to be a rather high level bard, when all this is done, I have 5 on the Guitar and 5 on the Piano and now, 5 on the Violin.