A Stream of Randomness

Day 12: Give stream-of-consciousness writing a try. This is where you basically just write out whatever comes into your head at the moment it comes into your head. It can feel bizarre, and it’s certainly not structured, but it can lead to some valuable insights into what’s going on in your mind. I’ll give you a 10-second example from right now, while looking out my window: “Boy, I have a nice-looking grill outside and the weather is beautiful…just what we need after all this cold and snow. That cloud looks like a ship from Star Wars… it makes me want to be outside.. maybe I need to spend more time outside and appreciate the fresh air. Perhaps I’ll open a window!” Random? Absolutely. Offering some helpful insight about my desire/need for fresh air? Affirmative. Try this out for 10-15 minutes. You may uncover something — no matter how small — you hadn’t previously realized

Hmmm… I think this is also called, “Free writing” but I’ll give it a try…

Timer is on. I’m not too fond of this current Linkin Park song. I remember sitting in my bro’s old T-bird singing along to the lyrics of their original songs. I wonder why I keep clicking on the NF chat if I’m not going to say anything. Man, I need to cut my hair. but I still don’t know how to cut it without having it so short and make it look just right. I’ve noticed that my hair has a life of it’s own, first it was parted in the middle and long, and now it’s make itself into something of a cowlick. I wonder if I put enough gel in my hair, I’ll look like one of those guys on Mad Men. Wait, I’ve never seen Mad Men. Man, the Advil PM is kicking in now. My eyes feel weird. I wonder why I’m so paranoid when the songs that I’m listening to have whispering voices in it. I need to stop being so scared. Man, I loved Final Fantasy V, that was a really good game, and the music was awesome! I still can’t believe Nubuo Uematsu sat 1 row, and about 8-9 chairs down to my left. My phone is now fully charged. I wonder how Marlena is, I wonder if she liked the movie, 47 Ronin. I’m really glad that the ending was the same. Man, Saga is weird, I like it though, I can’t wait to read more of it. Man, my throat feels like something is there, I knew Siry was going to get me sick, I knew it! If only she’d listen to me. I wonder if I die from this same sickness or something related to it, would she listen due to some life-scarring event like my death. My eyes are getting harder to keep open, this is a funny feeling. I wonder if I’ll ever learn how to play the Piano like how I hear in some songs. I hated that song “right Therr” by whatever-his-name-was. I kept feeling like punching someone every time I heard it. Why do I have this lamp if I never use it? Why was it dumped on me? I’m glad Nataku can finally stand on his own, I really had no way to keep him up, wait, how long have I had Nataku? I remember Shen Long was a present, but where did I get my Nataku Gundam? Oh well… My closet is open, I wonder if there’s anyone else that’s still awake right now. Man, I’m tired, that’s definitely the medicine kicking in. Hmm… I want to keep my Halo 4, or was it 3? calendar, but the year is over, so what do I do with it now? I was hoping Britt would have signed it, she’s cute, but I think she wouldn’t go for a guy like me. Come to think of it, I haven’t played a console game in a long while, I should really get back in to it. Maybe some of those guys from that Young Adult Ministry have played console games. That Alejandra girl was pretty cute, but I think she’s too young for me, the rule was “half my age plus seven.” So she was barely out of High school, so that’s a creepy thought. Wait, is tomorrow the third Monday of the month? I wonder what that doctor saw in me to help me learn how to take pressure manually? Maybe she felt sorry for me. I should stop feeling embarrassed about my low GPA. I need help, I need to follow a doctor who can help me get back on track. I wonder how Harlan is doing, I wonder if I should’ve gone to the Caribbeans with him. I really hope he’s alright. He’s a good guy. whoops, forgot to put this on full screen… that’s better. Man, my eyes are getting heavier… I wonder if I pass out right now, will I hit my head on the metal frame of my bed. It sure is dark out there, but I guess that’s because I have light in here. I’m yawning too much. I need to learn how to do a back flip or a side flip so I can wear my Assassin’s Creed hoodie and look cool while doing it. I love this song, Distant worlds. It’s sad– what’s that on my neck? huh, I didn’t see anything. oh well, must be a hair. I put my timer to 15 mintes, right? Oh yeah. I wonder how much time I have left. Another Yawn. I really hope I don’t get sick.

Finding Strength Within

“God never gives you anything more than you can handle.” This is a very common phrase, often used to inspire others, and yet, often times we find someone praying for God to grant them the strength/courage/will to overcome something. Quite the paradox, to someone looking from the outside in.

But to me, I believe that God has already granted us all the strength, courage, endurance, Intelligence, willpower, we’ll ever need in our lives, as Galileo put it, “You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him discover it in himself.” The wells that contain these abilities lie within oneself.

It’s all based on one’s own beliefs, and ethics, and how strongly they hold to them. If someone is fearful, then they’ll think that they have no courage, but what the case really is, is that they have yet to tap into the source of courage that lies dormant within them.

Often times in stories, the Hero discovers a hidden/special ability/item that allows them to defeat the great evil that threatens oblivion, but even to acquire that ability/item, the Hero had to fight and travel using what he knew, what he started off with.

In the beginning of any Mario Bros. game, you had only 2 abilities: Run and Jump, and you had to use them to find the mushrooms and fireflowers, and Yoshis to help you reach the final level where Bowser has taken Princess Peach, Link starts off with a Sword, and in practically every Final Fantasy, you start off either at Level 5 or Level 1, with basic equipment. Yet, throughout each game, you have to use what you already have at your disposal in order to gain more advanced levels. In each quest, you have to stick to what you already know in order to go forward, and utilize them in nearly any and every way you can. For Mario, one discovers that when one jumps on several enemies enough times, without stopping, a 1-Up is gained, Link can use interesting sword techniques to expose an enemy’s underbelly, in Final Fantasy, critical hits are delivered at random and can cause severe damage to their enemies.

Translating this to life, one can see that within ourselves, we have all of the power needed in order to conquer ever demon that stand before us. All it takes is just the ability to stand up and say, “I can do this.” followed by small actions that lead towards that goal.

My current goal is to get a good score on the MCAT, and in order to accomplish this, I have to discover the formulas and equations hidden within my Well of Knowledge and Science, at the proper moment, but in order for that, I have to start at Science Level 1, and it’s a long and draining process. So what can help me keep pressing when my eyes are a nice red glaze and my mind is more fried than an egg? When the hours are late and the information is becoming more and more like a foreign language than an equation? It’s during these moments, that feels like the well has run dry, but beneath it, lies another. It’s more than strength, it’s beyond it. It’s the drive. When strength is gone, and the mind is drained, what lies beneath all this is the motivation to keep pressing forward. When the body feels like lead, the motivation keeps your legs moving, your heart pounding, your lungs breathing.

Motivation is what fills the Wells that one reaches into first, and from there, you go and dig deeper into your soul. You start to see everything that you can only see as you approach the bottom of the Well, your limitations, your motivations, and which of them will outlast the other. God has already given you everything you’ll ever need, from motivation, to how you’re going to see it and have it engraved in your own soul, so that when there are no structures left and all the lights go out, one shall remain…


What I’ve learned from Childish things

I was thinking about how I learned all the things that help made me the individual that I am. Articulation, strange sense of humor, common sense, even the way I see the world. And how did I learn all this?

Video Games, Cartoons, Nerdy board games, Anime, Movies… and, you know what? I’m happy for that! Heh, allow me to emphasize using just video games…

One of my favorite video games is Final Fantasy, and it’s one of the most world-renowned Role Playing Games in the world. The very first Final Fantasy game gave you the choice to create a party of 4 characters, using 7 different individuals with their own unique traits and powers. You had the Fighter, the Black Belt, the Thief, The White Mage, the Black Mage and finally the Red Mage. From the very start you had to decide what combination of classes was best to take on the rest of the world with. And the game itself made it clear that if you were not prepared for what lies ahead, it will crush you. There was no cheat codes, no DLC, not even a strategy guide (at least I didn’t have access to one then). So at a very young age, I learned to be prepared for anything that can happen, and even then, you couldn’t plan for everything, so you’re forced to allow yourself some space to improvise if the going gets tough, and trust me, at 8-bits, it doesn’t get harder than this.

And nothing to bring them back...

Another video game that taught me an important life lesson is: Super Mario Bros. the very first one. In that game, there really were enemies abound, from corner to corner you couldn’t escape one without running into another just as menacing. But this game taught you that a single mistake can lead to DEATH! No half-way points, no lesser enemies, no extra help. You were faced with the exact same scenario that you died in, it didn’t matter if you were an inch or a mile away from the goal, the moment you let your guard down, you were eaten alive. In this, you learn not to hesitate when the moment calls for it, to take a leap of faith when you’re faced with no time to think.

Let your guard down for a Moment.

Other than these obviously frustrating things, but through them, and several others, I’ve learned the interweaving of a story, the twists and turns of a plot, how to build suspense, and how to make the heart skip a beat. Video games have taught me what it means to have Honor, Duty, Respect, Culture, Articulation (from those long monologues from the Bad Guy), this list is rather endless. One thing is certain, “There’s always another way.” This is manifested in various forms in Video Games. “If a Boss keeps killing you, find better equipment” translates into “If something is stopping you from reaching your goal in life, you must find other means to get to it.”- Final Fantasy. “If you’re surrounded by enemies, get a Turtle shell and make a path!” translates into “If you can’t go over an obstacle in life, and you can’t go under it either, then go through it.”- Mario Bros. “If you can’t reach that platform, try searching for something you’ve overlooked” translates into “if you find yourself stuck at a point in life, perhaps you have overlooked something you already have to help you. Don’t give up.”-Legend of Zelda.

If it wasn’t for my playing these games for hours on end, I wouldn’t stare at the night sky and ponder about the various things that lie just beyond this world’s grasp. I wouldn’t have an open mind to accept the friendships of various people from all over. I wouldn’t have gotten important perspectives in life, the dichotomy of good and evil within someone, the importance of being prepared in all situations, the appreciation of a job well done after hours of pain and turmoil (well, virtual anyways).

In the end, we are made up of what we’re born with and that’s a LOT of room for potential. If we are able and encouraged properly, we can take even the most useless wastes of time and forge our own character, one that can withstand all the horrors and pains in this world, and be the Knight in Shining armor, defending the helpless against the greatest of evils.

It could happen