My Curiosities

I’ve noticed as of late that my mind tends to “settle” and I can actually function without thoughts or ponderings or even the slightest of fantasies (clean ones, mind you) pass through my attention. I drive and my mind is blank. I’m working on the task at hand and I’m not thinking about planets or viruses or philosophy. My day can start and end without flying off hundreds of miles away in some other realm.

I don’t like that.

A couple of days ago I was proud of myself for talking someone through a miscommunication at work. I was unbiased, open, and clear in my position. So when I felt proud of what I did, it was genuine and not boastful. I’m glad that I have that trait that can sit and talk with people and work things out. This is something about myself that I hope I never lose, God willing.

So when I noticed that my mind didn’t wander and ponder like it used to, I actually missed that. I like thinking about random things and having my curiosity tug at the corner of my free time and lead me down a path I didn’t intend to go.

So, after hearing a podcast from aom about how de Vinci let his mind and curiosity take the wheel while he wrote notes on everything, I felt inspired.

So I am making an effort to keep my mind sharp and not let it get drained on video games and Facebook. I’m going to use this journal to not only house my reflections but also my thoughts and ponderings as I face them in the world.

Lately, I’ve been having an itch for robotics and how to implement that into a human, or rather on a living creature. A sort of start for my future research when I get my Master’s. I think I’ll start by looking into what was already done before and find out how exactly they did what they did.

I have to try to find the joy in it. Usually when I endeavor on something like this purely out of curiosity it never really gets fulfilled, case in point: this journal that got tossed to the wayside. But I don’t want to lose that part of myself that likes to learn new things. And school is going to start soon, so I need to keep my mind fresh for the new info.

I guess I’ll start a new section on this book. Hmmm, I wonder what I should call it. Notes? Nah. Research? No, I don’t think so. Ehh, I’ll figure it out later. Right now I’m cooking dinner and I can’t let this burn.

Heh, real time journaling.

Well at the current moment I suppose I will simply just use ‘My Curiosities’ because that’s kinda what it is. I’m curious about something and I want to know what it is, is about, or what about it that fascinates me. Like that song from Moana that the crab sings, “Shiny” I find that I particularly like the transition when his song (and the crab himself) got darker. I like songs that have that sort of “shift” I wonder what it’s officially called.

Hmmm, I better have some kind of filing or way to separate and organize my curiosities otherwise it’ll look like a jumbled mess.

In either case, I’m kinda excited about this. I want to learn new things and I kinda want to waste time on things that no one bothered to think about. This should be fun!

Location & Equipment

Day 27The importance of where you live: our home and environment have a tremendous impact on our lives. Take a look at the eight factors that should be considered when choosing where to live. Maybe you’ve never actually chosen, and you’ve just ended up where you are by default. Take the time today to think about the idea and importance of place. You may determine that where you are is perfect, or you may realize that you belong somewhere else.

Alright, so I think I’ll just lay out the eight factors and reflect on each one.

  1. Professional Opportunities: My current location has plenty of Professional Opportunities, doctors to shadow, places to volunteer, heck, the only thing I’m missing is a research lab, and I can get that at the University which is like less than half an hour away.
  2. Aesthetics: I have mountains in my window and outside my front door, all I’m missing is really an ocean to the side and I’d be set.
  3. Recreational Opportunities: There are plenty of local parks around me, as well as theme parks roughly an hour plus away. Although I’d have to usually travel quite a bit for something interesting, it’s not so bad from where I’m at.
  4. Climate and Geography: The clean open air and sunny days often make me long for snow, for the most part, I’m content.
  5. Available Mates: Despite my shyness to talk to a random cute girl, I’ve noticed that there are a lot of them around me. Just saw one in Michael’s earlier today. I need to overcome my shyness first.
  6. Proximity to Family and Friends: At the moment, I’m still living with most of my family, and my friends are quite a bit away, but not so far as to lose track of them.
  7. Environment for Child Rearing: I have no kids, but if I did, I wouldn’t mind having them grow up where I’m currently at. There are plenty of good schools around and they can still get in touch with nature.
  8. The Cost of Living: I’ve no idea how much it cost to live here, but I’m aware that it’s was quite expensive, if I could afford it, I’d live here.

I’m not sure if I really got all of the priorities that a Homeowner bears, but for now, these are what’s important to me.

Day 28: Finally in this three-day journey, you need to gather the tools necessary to make your life a masterpiece. Take a look at the article, and define the various tools that you will need and use to work towards those purposes and goals you laid out a couple days ago.

This article talks about tools of life that a man should have in order to make life complete as a man. Which are listed is as follows: A Mentor, A Mastermind Group, Journal/Pocket Notebook, Online Tools, Some suggested reading, and Discipline. So I guess, I’ll break them down to see which ones I have and don’t.

  • A Mentor: I have my Bro-in-law, My sister, My Mom, but while each of them are full of wisdom and bear traits that I admire, I wouldn’t consider any of them my official mentor. I’m grateful for their wisdom that they offer when I ask of it, but they specialize in the personal matters of my life being family, and don’t really know much about my academic or professional world, so they can’t really offer me guidance in those fields.
  • A Mastermind Group: I’ve been going to this Young Adults Ministry that my church has, and it’s full of people around my age, and so far, it’s rather too soon to give that this particular label. The purpose of this group is “to discuss and debate, and receive both criticism and inspiration.” the closest thing I have to that is, hardly a ‘group’ but it’s the only thing I got.
  • Journal/Pocket Notebook: Well, this is my journal, albeit a public one, and I don’t have a pocket Notebook, but the concept of it was something that intrigued me before, I need to look into it again, or maybe make my own.
  • Online Tools: a LOT of these look REALLY cool, and I think look into them later on down the line.
  • Suggested Reading: These books are meant to guide you, I’ll write them down and if I see them in a bookstore or somewhere I’ll try to get them.
  • Discipline: Heh, this is something I’m going to be constantly striving to obtain. This is really a trail by fire tool, some days I’ll be like a Marine, other days I’ll be like a couch potato. I need to be more Marine than Potato

So that’s it. I’m really missing a Mentor, which can probably be a doctor; a Mastermind group, which can be formed later on; a Pocket Notebook, which I can make; and more Discipline. I have some tools, but I need to get more.

Some Nights

I’ve been fascinated with this song lately, and just like the Sound of Silence, I’m going to try to find out why this particular song has stayed in my mind.

It starts with some relative things, “Some nights, I do this, or that”, These things are what everyone feels from time to time. The lips building/falling off, I feel is a reflection of how our words can build and inspire great things, like “a castle”, or get us into severe trouble with one wrong word causing us to be filled with the desire to turn back time.

Then the lyrics take a bit of a tangent saying that regardless of these regrets he still finds reason to wake up, and sees someone’s Ghost, yet is unsure of what he should uphold. The repetition is obviously to mirror the amount of stress/frustration this is causing him. And then he confesses that he gives up with, “Most nights, I don’t know anymore”.

Now there is an upbeat, almost angry speech. Speaking to boys/men, he starts questioning their hesitation to act, and then he says that though he doesn’t follow the crowd, his efforts often aren’t met with not complete success, but with imitators, which is often the highest form of flattery, ironic. But there’s content with this, because there is a woman/girl who is with him that brings peace of mind through her own sacrifice, hence the “Martyr in my bed tonight,”… “She stops my bones from wondering who I am…”

Back to the beat of the chorus, but the words are different, now they’re asking for an eluded peace and needed companionship, along with that, is a recurring fear of being forgotten, and then a recurring feeling of utter victory.

And the second part of the chorus, or rather the real chorus rings once more, emphasizing the feeling of purposelessness.

And now the pace slows as the Singer speaks plainly, reflecting on recent, yet vague choices, sacrifices that caused him to give up things he loved the most.

And this part I really like, He says, “No”. He says it with a voice of rising defiance against whatever it was that was oppressing him, it could’ve been his regrets or his sorrow. The several “Oh come on!” sounds like calls back to reality, the stereotypical “Snap out of it!” which in this case would be snapping out of the Singer’s depression/sorrow.

Now he’s back to addressing an audience, reverting back to his own youthful impulsiveness, and then a view on his own life and agenda, along with the strong desire not to die alone in some barren place.

Along with this, he speaks of his family, his sister and nephew. I thought this part was interesting, apparently his sister is using love to cheat someone and yet, when it comes to his nephew, it seems like the filthiest lie can end up as some honest truth.

Finally, he speaks to someone about a dream he had. In the dream, he calls someone yet there’s an agreement to not speak and to drift apart.

 OK, now to think about why this has been on my mind lately… For one thing, I love the beat, a fierce, yet steady drum to a gentle soothing piano, then back to the drum yet with varying tempos. I also like the Chorus/Voices, soft yet bold, in unison, and the pitch is always following the Singer’s. Then there’s the Singer’s Voice, so full of passion, defiance, compassion, even regret. You can see a lot of this man in this song, in terms depth, like who you’re listening to isn’t some front, but the man himself.

The phrase, “What do I stand for?” have an echo with me, Often times, I find myself wondering if I’m on the right path. As well as “Some nights” though different each time he says it, The idea that sometimes he feels this or that, is relate-able because there are literally some nights, when I too feel this or that as well. One can almost call it a cheating move, because he always remains vague, especially with the slow, “I did this for that?” segment, but it makes it even more relate-able.

One thing about this song is the Passion, I think that there’s a rather intense passion throughout the song, even when he was speaking of his regrets, the rising defiance afterwards was full of intense passion. I’ve always been a sucker for a song that can fill someone with such passion. So now all that’s left is wondering…

What do I stand for?