My Curiosities

I’ve noticed as of late that my mind tends to “settle” and I can actually function without thoughts or ponderings or even the slightest of fantasies (clean ones, mind you) pass through my attention. I drive and my mind is blank. I’m working on the task at hand and I’m not thinking about planets or viruses or philosophy. My day can start and end without flying off hundreds of miles away in some other realm.

I don’t like that.

A couple of days ago I was proud of myself for talking someone through a miscommunication at work. I was unbiased, open, and clear in my position. So when I felt proud of what I did, it was genuine and not boastful. I’m glad that I have that trait that can sit and talk with people and work things out. This is something about myself that I hope I never lose, God willing.

So when I noticed that my mind didn’t wander and ponder like it used to, I actually missed that. I like thinking about random things and having my curiosity tug at the corner of my free time and lead me down a path I didn’t intend to go.

So, after hearing a podcast from aom about how de Vinci let his mind and curiosity take the wheel while he wrote notes on everything, I felt inspired.

So I am making an effort to keep my mind sharp and not let it get drained on video games and Facebook. I’m going to use this journal to not only house my reflections but also my thoughts and ponderings as I face them in the world.

Lately, I’ve been having an itch for robotics and how to implement that into a human, or rather on a living creature. A sort of start for my future research when I get my Master’s. I think I’ll start by looking into what was already done before and find out how exactly they did what they did.

I have to try to find the joy in it. Usually when I endeavor on something like this purely out of curiosity it never really gets fulfilled, case in point: this journal that got tossed to the wayside. But I don’t want to lose that part of myself that likes to learn new things. And school is going to start soon, so I need to keep my mind fresh for the new info.

I guess I’ll start a new section on this book. Hmmm, I wonder what I should call it. Notes? Nah. Research? No, I don’t think so. Ehh, I’ll figure it out later. Right now I’m cooking dinner and I can’t let this burn.

Heh, real time journaling.

Well at the current moment I suppose I will simply just use ‘My Curiosities’ because that’s kinda what it is. I’m curious about something and I want to know what it is, is about, or what about it that fascinates me. Like that song from Moana that the crab sings, “Shiny” I find that I particularly like the transition when his song (and the crab himself) got darker. I like songs that have that sort of “shift” I wonder what it’s officially called.

Hmmm, I better have some kind of filing or way to separate and organize my curiosities otherwise it’ll look like a jumbled mess.

In either case, I’m kinda excited about this. I want to learn new things and I kinda want to waste time on things that no one bothered to think about. This should be fun!


Coming back into the rhythm of things

Man, I’ve had one hell of an absence. Not in the sense that I’ve been gone a long while, but in the sense that I’ve had a lot of interesting things happen while I was gone!

But before I get into all of the interesting things I plan on reflecting on, I’m going to write this entry on how I’ve missed this journal. I like my time spent just pouring my thoughts on here. My thoughts often run rampant in my mind, and with this journal, I can explore each one rather thoroughly. Not to mention the meditative benefits this gives me, with each thought explored, means that’s another thought that is processed and set aside. Lest, it’s something I need to come back to it in the future.

In either case, I want to make more of a conscious effort into writing, reading, and just plain thinking things through. I’ll admit, that I’ve let my Xbox One get the better of my time, and most things have gone to the wayside.

But I’m going to change that. I’m going to start setting times to do things that I really want to do with my time, other than play video games, that is.

So this entry will be a short one, and the future ones will take a bit longer to write, because in the past what I would usually do is just keep writing until I’m finished. Which isn’t bad, except I would finish at like 1 or 2am. And if I want to have sufficient energy to tackle the day, I’m going to need sufficient rest as well.

So here’s to a start of sorts. One of many.

The Act of Thinking Out loud

Heh, I know it has been a long while since I’ve posted on here. And as I’m typing that sentence, I wonder how many times I’ve said that same sentence over and over. Oh well.

So my little sister wanted me to help her with her journaling and in return she’d help me with mine. Except, she didn’t buy any notebook or anything to journal with, and I remembered this blog.

I feel like I’m dusting off an old friend as I look at the format and some of the old posts I’ve written… Ahhh… The September I wrote about my father. I’ve gotta look through these some time.

But you know, I’ve missed having my thoughts displayed before me. I tried journaling on an actual journal, but I’ve missed the part unique to the blog that it’s my thoughts for all of the world to see. It’s kinda freeing. Despite how much or little it’s read, I like having some part of me out there floating on the sea that is the internet. Probably never to be seen again, like a letter in a bottle thrown into the ocean. Whoever finds it and reads it will probably never know it came from me, but they will have read these words, and like any author, I hope that my words will inspire them to be something.

Man, a lot has happened in my life since my last post. Oh! I know! I’ll just start with the more recent things and work my way backwards, retroactively recalling everything that’s happened to me and probably with some luck, I can catch you up to all of my recent events… Heh, ‘You’ my dear reader, whoever you are. Thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope I hadn’t disappointed you in the past. Although if you were reading this regularly, then I most likely have, and I apologize to you.

But I plan on coming back here at least twice a week, hopefully my little sister can keep remind me about this, and I can keep my word to you.

So I have to go now, I need to shower and I’ve got an early day tomorrow, so I’m ending this entry here.

Until next time.

With Each Passing Day

I was reading about how some people write in their journals, and many of them make it a priority to write something every day, even if it’s just one sentence. So I thought to myself, ‘Why can’t I do that? Just a sentence, but each and every day. That will be good.’

So this is what I shall do, except I’ll try to make sure I write something significant, and be as less random as possible. Maybe I’ll throw in a “Quote of the Day” or something like that, heh, I really like quotes. So since I need to catch up on sleep…

“Quotes are nothing but inspiration for the uninspired.” – Richard Kemph

A Blessing In Disguise

A few days ago, the bills of our household were piling up on us, and we had lost the luxury of both the internet and our cells. We were seemingly cut off from the rest of the world, information couldn’t have been obtained, I had no access to anything on the digital world, and quite honestly, I was perfectly fine with it. It felt a bit strange at first, to not have the entire information of the world at my fingertips, but then I started looking around and simply looked for something else to do, T.V. was a bore, but then my brother, Greggy, suggested reading something like I had always claimed I “wanted” to do.

So I grabbed a book he got for his birthday some years ago, The Blood of Aenerion by William King, it was the story of the young High Elf Princes Tyrion and Teclis, old friends from Warhammer, who’s history and legends I was familiar with, but this was during the times before their days of glory and legend, and I was simply blown away by it, although that could be because of my familiarity of the two protagonists, but I was even more surprized at myself, I wasn’t playing a game on my phone, nor was I mindlessly surfing the web, looking at useless things that will never apply to my own life. I do feel guilty at the prevention of my responsibilities being fulfilled on NF, but this situation is pretty much out of my hands. But I’ve come to realize how much of a distraction the internet has become for me. I mean, even right now as I’m typing this on a OneNote document, I would’ve been distracted with Facebook, opening a new tab and googling something random, or just plain staring at random articles or information that I didn’t really need to know, or already knew. It’s a pretty bad cycle.

So the time for Lent has come and I’ve made my decision to sacrifice something large in my life as well as try to introduce something else all in hopes that this will let me become closer to God. And so when my sister recommends that as an added sacrifice for Lent to restrict the time spent on the internet to two hours, I readily jumped on it. I work best if I have set restrictions upon myself, so this 2-hour time limit suits me just fine. Although the main purpose is so that one of my other brothers doesn’t just isolate himself in his room all day, every day, we are willing to also make that same limitation so as to not make him feel any lesser.

And I must admit, that this temporary change is having a bit of a ripple effect on the whole family, instead of mindlessly playing our games on the phone, Greggy and I spend our time after chores, reading, him, his Legend of Zelda mangas, and me, his Aenerion book. We even turned off the T.V. so as to avoid wasting the energy while we’re reading and it has become so peaceful. I love this freedom that we’ve found ourselves in. It’s relieving, not having the entire world wide web so easily accessible, it’s like I can just take the time to stop and sit down and simply be in the present moment, not thinking about the distant future, or the past that is Facebook, or even in present moments that are completely irrelevant to me and my life. I feel calm and not rushed, even more energetic thanks to this turn of events.

Speaking of events, the General Manager of a local store, asked David if they know anyone hiring and my name was mentioned, as soon as I got word of it, I immediately got dressed and ran out the door, meeting up with said manager and he informally interviewed me, I gave out the answers as honestly and as best as I could, remaining humble, yet determined, and I left there thinking that it went well, so hopefully, God will grace me with a job, it wouldn’t be much, but hey, it’s better than nothing. Also Greggy has registered for school after a long period of inactivity, he’ll be taking classes in the summer and I’ve planned on talking to the people at the Library of the community college and hopefully I can help him find a job at the campus. Norm has at this moment, flown to Boston for another show for his work, he called earlier today letting us know that he has landed safely. A couple of days ago, my Mother went to her doctor’s appointment where she discovered she had lost 30 lbs thanks to my sister’s diet that she has placed my mom under. We left the hospital with a big smile on her face and a clean bill of health, that is, cleaner than it’s been for quite some time.

So it looks like things are progressing rather well with my whole family, with the metaphorical and digital loss of the world, we’re gaining something more, each of us. I can only hope that when we do get the internet back, that I hold true to the lessons learned in these last few days, and not forget that I don’t need to have my face glued to this screen to be happy, and that a little initiative can go a long way.

The End of a Challenge

Day 31: Reflect on the last 30 days of journaling. Did you enjoy the experience? What did you learn about yourself? What was most difficult? Will you continue the practice? If so, take some time to map out how you’d like your journaling habit to continue. It can be entirely up to you; don’t worry about following a set of rules. Maybe you want to write every day, maybe you’re okay with a slightly longer session every month or so. Just make sure it’s something that you want to do.

Man, has it already been 31 days? I’ve gotta say, this was a lot of fun. Very insightful, I’ve learned quite a bit about myself and what I believe in. The most difficult parts where the ones that required me to admit my faults, that’s obvious, but also the ones that required reading over a series of topics, like the Archetypes, I usually do my entries late in the night, so I’m up at 2 AM with bloodshot eyes trying to read and then think introspectively afterwards. Not the wisest of decisions. Well, of course I’m going to continue this practice of journaling, it’s fun and interesting to have my thoughts on these digital pages. Hmm… It was pretty difficult to do this every day and there were days when I couldn’t, so if I had to form a plan to journal, I’d like to aim for 2-3 times a week. That would give me some time to reflect intently, as well as have days to not to, and most likely veg out in front of a game or show. But, I’ve been doing this for quite some time and now I’m going to keep writing, keeping all that I’ve discovered and learned with me.

The Sunrise of 2014

Like years before, I stayed up all night to see the sun rise for the first time in this new year. I even waited outside in my Assassin’s Creed hoodie, that I got for Christmas, I paced back and forth for warmth, but I greeted my old friend at his arrival signalling the dawn of a new year. After a quick prayer in the cold morning, I went back inside to await everyone else and begin this new year with a Paintballing game.

Taking a bit of a break from my Heart-to-Heart miniseries, gave me their latest article and it was a rather intriguing one: a 31-day Journal Challenge. I quickly glanced through the prompts and my curiosity was hooked, so I’ll give this a try. It sounds like fun.

* * *

Day 1: Start with answering the question of why you want to journal, and beyond that, why you decided to embark on this 31-day experience. Write out what you’d like to get from journaling.

 OK, so this is my first prompt. Why I want to journal? Hmm… I guess I’ve always liked the idea of putting my thoughts into some form that’s in front of me. When I’m trying to study, I imagine the information in floating windows around me like in Iron Man. I also read it in the’s article series of 30-days to become a better man. So it was revealed to me that the great men before me have kept journals to help them focus their thoughts and feelings, and me? Well besides from wanting to be a great man, myself, I could use a lil help trying to focus my own thoughts and feelings. So I wanted to do this 31-day experience to sort out my thoughts, glancing through the future prompts this is going to be somewhat invasive and personal, so I thought this would be of a great help to me. In the end, besides having my mind displayed on these digital pages for future people, I’ve always figured that my death would be cut short, I’ve no idea why, nor how this will happen, but I guess it’s something of a worst-case-scenario for me, so should this lifeline be cut short, I’ll at least have some part of me that will go on… that will be immortal. Huh, weird…

Looks like that does it for today, I have to remember to make an effort to finish my own Heart-to-Heart miniseries before I forget. But I have a feeling that this 31-Day experience will help me with my own experiences.