It was a small favor… no it wasn’t, It was a large mistake. She was scared of so many things, that Greg and JP would be kicked out, that corruption would take the heart, and that all of this pain and suffering would be in vain, and life and dreams would be ruined.
She wanted me to accept her proposition and sacrifice myself, for her fear whispers things in her mind. To my regret, I accepted it, thinking that with my sacrifice, I would be the best candidate for the least amount of damage that this would do. Then she looked at my saddened face, for I knew what this proposition was going to do for the entire family, and she got sad, she hated seeing me sad. After a few hours, I went back to her and told her how to explain it so that it can reduce the damage even more, but still, my heart was heavy and I couldn’t shake this feeling of this mistake.
The next day, we were eating breakfast, and she asked me what was on my mind, because she can still see sorrow in my face, despite my best efforts; I questioned her fears, I questioned her nightmares, and I questioned her proposition, and to my discovery, it was all irrational.
Her fears have already been addressed and reassured, and are now nothing to be afraid of. The nightmare that constantly haunts her will never come to pass, and all of her pain and suffering will be rewarded. My sacrifice was no longer needed, and she thanked me for comforting her.
Man, that was something else! It took me a while day to actually process it in my own mind, but I actually helped the family avoid a problem that would cause it to be separated, this would’ve left a scar of unimaginable proportions!
Now my conscious is getting at me for not fixing this in the first place, but I’m relieved now. I need to learn to think about WHY people are doing these things before I start agreeing to these things. Her fears are valid, true, but the problem is that she’s forgotten everything that’s happened, and have allowed herself to be consumed by said fears, and me, simply agreeing to being part of the cause of a divided house, I’m an idiot!
Luckily, things didn’t happen that way and now, this near-division is only between her and I. I know now, that I have to be careful to what I agree to, to not be persuaded by the fears of others, and to remember what has happened to calm those fears. It’s like remembering why I want to be a doctor, My experiences speaks volumes, all I need to do is remember those times and all my fears will be put to rest.