A Hike that defined my Path

So I was at school the other day, ready to talk to my financial aid counselor about my Leave of Absence, unfortunately, I forgot that I needed an appointment first, so I had 3.5 hours before I had to get ready for work, so I remembered that there was a hiking trail not far from where I was at.

I love hiking. Whenever able, I love walking around the rock formations and my mind just expands and flows, my thoughts travel all across the mountainside as I get some clarity and peace. It’s almost equivalent to releasing doves from a cage, you see them fluttering and flapping their wings, and then, as if by instinct, they start to get their bearings and align themselves into a formation, they carry themselves on the wind and just soar. My thoughts do exactly the same thing, as I get higher and higher on the summit, my thoughts fly further and further away from me, leaving me with a peace as serene as the view I’m taking in.

But with this particular hike, I decided to record it for this journal.

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Starting off on this trail, I am met with these walls along the hillside. I always get a sense of perspective whenever really close to them, I like to be reminded of how small one really is compared to the vastness of the world. It’s humbling.

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It wasn’t long until I’m met with a fork in the road. One path leads upward, and the other straight, I went down the straight path before and I found that it doesn’t lead anywhere interesting or extravagant. I never went on the other path, not to mention, that I like high places, so I naturally went and took to higher path. As Robert Frost is always quoted, “When coming across a fork in the road… I take the road less travelled by, and that has made all of the difference in the world.”

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It gets pretty steep, and I notice that if I just simply look to my left, I’d be struck with a fantastic view. But I don’t. As a matter of fact, I don’t let myself even glance in that direction. I wasn’t done. I still had more to climb, more to do. If I had looked it’ll be premature and it’ll ruin the final view that waited for me at the end. I have to press on! The end will be much more better! I see this as a translation of not letting your ambition force you to celebrate early, to recognize that there is still work to be done and that the journey hasn’t ended.

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Naturally, the pathway becomes jagged and narrow. Any such individual who wishes to follow their path must be prepared to face difficulties of any kind.

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Now I’m almost at the top and I face another fork in the road, one greener and seems to aim directly towards the face of the mountain, the other barren. I thought about this one, for a few minutes. The greener road felt like taking a luxurious, non-resistant end to the path. I didn’t like the sound of it. I was never one for luxury, nor was I one who went out of the way to having his presence known by all. To take the Green path would be like showing off and demanding rewards for my efforts, I didn’t like the feeling it gave me.

So I took the barren path, and what I saw was awe-inspiring

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This is a panoramic shot of where I stood.

It blew me away.

This was exactly what I was looking for. This was my destination. Not to reach the top of some corporate ladder or have some really high office in a prestigious building. But to be in a position in society, where I’m able to reach out and touch and help someone regardless of their background or lifestyle. To truly reach my potential, I must be in a position where anyone who needed my help can have access to me.

I love this view. It was worth the climb. And when I looked to my side, the path continued.

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And sure enough, when I continued on my path, all I could see were green hills and a never ending path that kept going on and on. It was my future. This is where I see my path going. It is defined by this one hike. It’s not a straight path (nor would I want it to be), it bears its highs and lows, and can get wavy as it follows the curvature of the mountain. But that’s to be expected with Life. But I can feel it, This is where I’m meant to be.

So there you have it, ironically, this entire hike took just over an hour to climb, but from it, I got all that I needed to know about what lies ahead of me. It was a much needed respite.

I’m glad I did this.

And to add a bit of flavor to this, I saw an interesting sight off in the distance

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Ha ha ha! It was almost as if someone had planned it! a giant R on the opposing mountain. Granted, it’s probably for the city that mountain resides in, but seeing as to how I answer to Red, I took it for my own translation.

Remembering the Crow

There was a day, when I was in the middle of college, I was 19, didn’t have my license or car, so there was a small walk I had to take from my house down the road to the Bus stop.

So I was coming home one day, and I was overcame with a feeling to run, for exercise. so I had my bag-sling/satchel and then, I started running, the road between bus stop and home wasn’t far, so I was planning on running all the way. Simple enough.

When I started, I heard a crow beginning to caw, being in California, this was common, so I paid it no mind, although, I didn’t see one, so that thought remained for a brief moment.

Running still, about the first third of the way, the cawing stops.

Halfway there, I got the sensation to keep running… to not stop, but to keep running… it was a strange sensation, one that I’ve not experienced before, so naturally I kept running.

Then I heard the crow caw again, but it’s not from a rooftop across the street, it’s not flying off high above me in the sky… it is right behind me!

I’m still running, and I somehow know that this Crow is right behind me, what he’s doing I have no idea, but it’s right about head-level, then I feel it: the crow’s feet, lunging at the back of my head. In a brief moment, I can feel the upper claws grazing the hairs in the back of my head, it was almost as if, it wasn’t a crow’s feet, but a clawed hand trying to grab me when I was running! The moment was brief, only a fraction of a second, the sensation of claws be they, crows or otherwise, just barely scraping the back of my head was certainly real, without a doubt.

After that, I was still running, if not faster, and I finally reached the street I needed to cross in order to come home, I turned back and there was nothing in the sky, not even the other common birds, the power cables and rooftops were empty.

To this day, I’ve often thought whether or not what I felt was real, or a figment of my imagination or perhaps a metaphor of some aspect of my life, how close evil is truly behind me, or maybe, it could just be that the Crow thought I was a giant bug and it tried to eat me, Ha ha ha.

Still, me being the kind of person that I am, I’m more inclined to think towards the former, that somehow, manifested in my life, was a sign or symbol, of something, often times the Crow/Raven was depicted as the bearer of bad news, the bringer of misfortune, and the like, but I remember the rest of the day being fine.

Perhaps, this is not meant as an external sign, but an internal one. If I slow down in my path to life, or if I look back and lose my way, I’ll be taken by the demons whose hands lie just inches away from grabbing me. I ran because it came naturally to me, so if I stuck to what is good for my life, and what is natural, although pushing me to my limits, I’ll be ahead of that which can drag me to Hell, and finally reach the end of my road, Home.  With this, I realize that my road is much longer than just down the street, and my Home is far greater than where I am now, but that also means that the Crow that tried to grab me is now truly a demon just waiting for me to slow down and throw me into a state of mind that will drive me away from moving towards Home. My path, although long and obviously more complicated than a straight line, isn’t completely shrouded in darkness and despair, it’s merely at the end, for I know what is right and what is wrong, the whole point is to stay on the path, and watch out for the crows.

For You, My Dear Reader

This is for you, to take from it anything that can help you in your quest in Life. I’m but a simple man trying to find his own path, to make his own mark in this world. I know I’ll probably never see you in real life, and on the off-chance that we do meet face-to-face, I’ll probably never make the connection between you to this journal of mine.

In either case, I’m glad that you’re here, that you’ve decided to take time off your day in your life to read a random one in mine. I know a lot of these posts will be random and full of information that will never be understood unless I sit down with you and reveal every association that was missed in the post itself.

No, I’m not dying, nor am I leaving this journal just yet, I merely want to address you for now. To acknowledge that you are, indeed, real, as am I, that we are both humans on our own paths, moving, acting, believing, breathing, and not ghosts floating across a sea of gray.

I imagine us sitting together in front of a fireplace, simply enjoying each others company and just letting the silence sink into our souls, bring peace of mind and tranquility between us, making us feel like old friends who’ve reunited after being too long apart. We look at each other and smile over the times that have transpired, that we were blessed to have been witnesses to, that we have shared.

Needless to say, I don’t know the future, nor am I certain of what lies ahead. But if I can, I try to remain optimistic about it, regardless of the lies, the death and the evil that is displayed before our eyes, I look forward towards all of the life-changing events that will never been seen on Television, or recorded over the internet, those unseen moments that occur between a select few that changes the world from underneath everyone and causes hope to be restored once again.

I love those moments. I wish there was as much of them in our lives as possible.

So for you, my dear Reader, I will offer these words, these entries, these experiences. I don’t know how useful they will be to you, nor if they will merely entertain you, but if they inspire you, comfort you, or even give you a sense of perspective, then I am glad. For despite the fact that I use this for personal reasons, I’ve always kept this journal public, I have no intentions of winning awards or being recognized on any sort of scale, with this. I only simply want it here. A collection of my thoughts that anyone can read. It sounds intriguing, to tell you the truth. I’ve often wondered who would really read this, and if they did, would they understand my way of thinking?

Ha ha ha, it’s a curiosity that I like to muddle over.

… I am what I am. Weird, uncertain, nerdy… heh, red… and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I offer to you, dear Reader, all that I am, on these pages. I will not hold back anything from you, and if you think less of me in the future, then I apologize, however I will always try to be truthful as well as tactful. And if you decide to not read this anymore, then what more can I say other than, “Meh.” ?

Dearest Reader, I’m going to warn you and believe me when I say this: I am going to push the boundaries of this world as far as I can. I am going to defy and defeat my Demons and all of the Non-Believers, who say that I cannot do something. I am going to save the Broken, the Beatened, and the Damned.

I give you my word.