Love is like having a Dog

A couple of weeks ago I had a coffee date with an attractive girl. We talked and the conversation flowed as well as it could and then we played ways. Several members of my family (mainly the females) asked me how did it go with her. And I gave my assessment of the young girl. Unfortunately, I didn’t really connect with her and although there’s nothing with the girl, I just couldn’t see her as a potential for me. One thing I did get out of it though, was an idea as to what kind of girl I’ll be looking for in a potential girlfriend.

A few days ago, I was having a phone conversation with my sister and it shifted over to relationships. As it turns out, my brother also went on a date and his assessment of his date was similar to mine, essentially we just didn’t click with our respective dates. But he is taking her out on another date. I was confused due to the fact that he also reported to not having any chemistry with his date, yet he’s planning on taking her out on a picnic.

You see, I knew walking away that my date and I didn’t click and that a relationship with her wouldn’t be possible. So there was no reason to have another date, this was just one and done. My sister knows how I think and reason (to an extent), and upon telling her this, she’s not surprised in the least. She even helped me try to understand why my brother would take his girl on another date. And then she explains it like this:

“To be in love with someone is like having a dog.”

(My sister always uses her own personal experiences as an example to explain.) Having a relationship is like having a dog. The dog provides a special connection and establishes a relationship with its owner. The dog (usually) doesn’t provide any special services or fulfills any vast need. It doesn’t work, provide financial assistance, or even that good of a conversational partner (depending on how one talks to their dog). But at the same time, you want to be around it, you love it when you spend time with it, even when you’re just sitting down not doing anything. I love our 2 dogs, I’ll take care of them and care for them, not out of any obligation but because I want to. They make me smile and laugh just by being who they are. Even when they do something bad like eat off of the table or go to the bathroom inside the house, I’ll be frustrated with them, but I’ll always forgive them.

My sister and her husband have a surprizingly similar bond. She’s very independent and yet she misses her husband terribly. She has a need for him just to be there. As much as he gets on her nerves, she still loves him and needs him to be there with her (her words). Even if they do nothing at all, she’s perfectly content with his mere presence.

This is very unusual in my eyes, most likely due to the fact that I share no such bond with anyone. And yet, here I am seeing it firsthand, a relationship that I would like to emulate.

Although I won’t contact the girl further, I have what kids now say, “Relationship goals”. I have an idea as to what I would like my future relationship to be with whoever becomes my significant other. It’s interesting, to have this thought. I honestly find this whole subject fascinating.


One day for the Hands, One day for the Heart

Day 18: Identify one project you’d like to complete with your hands. There’s something special about a man doing work with his bare hands, and most men today have lost that. Maybe you want to start a garden, or build a workbench in your garage. Maybe you’ve been meaning to upgrade your bathroom on your own volition. Once you identify that one project, write about what you have to do in order to complete it. Detail the steps, the resources, the help you’ll need, etc. Then, set about doing it. Come back to this entry as motivation when you see yourself wavering.

Heh, Projects, Elbow Grease, getting down and dirty. I love it! To pick one that needs to be done soon, I suppose I’d go with changing the oil in my car. It’s a really simple process.

Since I drive a car and not a truck/SUV, I’m going to have to lift up the car with a Jack, identify the locations of the Oil Plug and the Oil Filter using the book about the details of the car, then putting a piece of cardboard underneath I’ll slide under with a 13-inch socket and some rags, I’ll ratchet the plug loose, then place an Oil pan underneath the plug, remove said plug, and let all of the oil come out, then replace the plug after some cleaning with a rag, thoroughly, then place the Oil Pan under the Oil Filter, and remove the Oil filter trying to spill as little oil as possible. Then I’ll take out the new Oil Filter, and open an Oil can, and dip my finger in it, and spread the oil on the ring on the Oil Filter as well as on the treads that attaches the filter onto the car. Then attach said filter to the car after cleaning up the designated location and then checking that everything is set and tightened. Once that’s done, I’ll take everything out from underneath, and lower the Car so that I can refill it with 5-6 cans of oil. I like to look underneath to make sure no oil is leaking as I’m pouring the oil, and once that’s done, I turn on the car and, while still in Park, accelerate a little to get the oil to spread throughout the car, after a few mins, I turn off the car and walk away knowing I did a job well done!

Day 19: Reflect on your romantic relationship(s), and identify one area in which you’d like to improve. Be it your wife, fiance, or new girlfriend, there’s sure to be something you can do to make the relationship even better. If you don’t have a romantic partner in your life, perhaps you can identify past failures that you’d like to improve in your future relationships. You can choose to talk about this with your partner, or not. Either way, you’ve now put your relationship top-of-mind and will be more attuned to being intentional about keeping it healthy.

Ha ha ha, Romantic relationships. I don’t suppose improving my entire area under “Relationships” is an option. So it tells me to look at past failures. Well that’d bring me all the way back to LSU, when I had a pretty hard crush on a girl there who was from Thailand. I first saw her at the Health office where she worked, and simply thought to myself, ‘Hey, she’s cute.’ Little did I know, that she’d be in the same lab that I would sign up for, well long story short, we were chatting late at night, and she said that she wanted to be friends in the end. I guess, I should’ve fought for it. I merely left it up to her, thinking that I didn’t want to push her too hard and eventually away. But looking back on it, I didn’t push hard enough, if not at all. I hesitate and get concerned that I would be viewed as possessive or overbearing, but in the end, I hesitated because I’m somewhat concerned about the commitment. I feel like I can’t make the investment both required and demanded of me. Looks like I’ve got some issues that need resolving.