“It’s Not About How Fast You Can Get Them Wrong”

This was a quote from my Verbal Reasoning professor. It stuck with me when I first started my MCAT studies. It made me think about all of the times I’ve made a decision without taking all the time I had at my disposal.

During the MCAT, one is bombarded with questions of varying degrees of difficulty on no particular order, and each question despite the level of difficulty is worth the same amount of points.

In my case, I’ve always been an unusually fast test taker, often taking a fraction of the amount of time given to complete whatever exam I’m taking, not really sure why my mind speeds up in such a manner but I’m stuck with it. And now I have to make sure my mind at a quickened pace does not cause me to attempt to blow through these simple questions where they ask one thing in an abstract manner

But taking this to a more broad spectrum, I’m curious as to how many decisions one makes in his life, without using all the time given to him to make it with. Like the MCAT questions, each decision made is worth the same as any other, despite the fact that each decision can vary from the most difficult decision ever made to the easiest.

But one thing is for certain, every decision has some degree of right and wrong choices, it’s just according to whatever the person believes in, who is making said decision. So ultimately, it’s at the end of it all do we find out whether out not we made the right choice or the wrong one, but one thing is for certain, Life isn’t about how fast you can make a lot of wrong choices, but about how many of those choices we the right ones.

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Remembering the Crow

There was a day, when I was in the middle of college, I was 19, didn’t have my license or car, so there was a small walk I had to take from my house down the road to the Bus stop.

So I was coming home one day, and I was overcame with a feeling to run, for exercise. so I had my bag-sling/satchel and then, I started running, the road between bus stop and home wasn’t far, so I was planning on running all the way. Simple enough.

When I started, I heard a crow beginning to caw, being in California, this was common, so I paid it no mind, although, I didn’t see one, so that thought remained for a brief moment.

Running still, about the first third of the way, the cawing stops.

Halfway there, I got the sensation to keep running… to not stop, but to keep running… it was a strange sensation, one that I’ve not experienced before, so naturally I kept running.

Then I heard the crow caw again, but it’s not from a rooftop across the street, it’s not flying off high above me in the sky… it is right behind me!

I’m still running, and I somehow know that this Crow is right behind me, what he’s doing I have no idea, but it’s right about head-level, then I feel it: the crow’s feet, lunging at the back of my head. In a brief moment, I can feel the upper claws grazing the hairs in the back of my head, it was almost as if, it wasn’t a crow’s feet, but a clawed hand trying to grab me when I was running! The moment was brief, only a fraction of a second, the sensation of claws be they, crows or otherwise, just barely scraping the back of my head was certainly real, without a doubt.

After that, I was still running, if not faster, and I finally reached the street I needed to cross in order to come home, I turned back and there was nothing in the sky, not even the other common birds, the power cables and rooftops were empty.

To this day, I’ve often thought whether or not what I felt was real, or a figment of my imagination or perhaps a metaphor of some aspect of my life, how close evil is truly behind me, or maybe, it could just be that the Crow thought I was a giant bug and it tried to eat me, Ha ha ha.

Still, me being the kind of person that I am, I’m more inclined to think towards the former, that somehow, manifested in my life, was a sign or symbol, of something, often times the Crow/Raven was depicted as the bearer of bad news, the bringer of misfortune, and the like, but I remember the rest of the day being fine.

Perhaps, this is not meant as an external sign, but an internal one. If I slow down in my path to life, or if I look back and lose my way, I’ll be taken by the demons whose hands lie just inches away from grabbing me. I ran because it came naturally to me, so if I stuck to what is good for my life, and what is natural, although pushing me to my limits, I’ll be ahead of that which can drag me to Hell, and finally reach the end of my road, Home.  With this, I realize that my road is much longer than just down the street, and my Home is far greater than where I am now, but that also means that the Crow that tried to grab me is now truly a demon just waiting for me to slow down and throw me into a state of mind that will drive me away from moving towards Home. My path, although long and obviously more complicated than a straight line, isn’t completely shrouded in darkness and despair, it’s merely at the end, for I know what is right and what is wrong, the whole point is to stay on the path, and watch out for the crows.